Habits

I have this habit
I cry running to you
The safety of your arms
wrapped around me
Your shirt soaked with my tears

Does she know you hold me like this?
Does she know your texting me
telling me everything's okay
What would she even say?
Knowing that this still goes on?

It's fucked up just how much
I still depend on you so
Never meant to do this
For you to still be my safe place
I don't know to stop doing it

Crying out like a child to be held
Knowing full well there's nothing more
To the comfort you provide
But then why do you hide?
Why do you hide that you help me?