Closure pt. 1

Smoke taints my tongue    
When I realized the extent    
Of how experience  
Wisens,    
For my family has always been    
Arrogant in our intellect    
Even as children,    
Though we began    
As normal as any newborns    
   
Lack of parenting, effort in parenting,    
Both can affect    
In different ways    
A mother    
Downing pills in the bathroom    
While the oldest daughter changes diapers    
And skips school    
To take care of her siblings    
Their father, Peter Pan,    
Mine, blood on the bathroom floor,  
Both leaving constellations of blue    
And purple    
On our skin    
While mom slits her wrists    
   
All kidnapped from home,    
By a women in a suit  
Miles away from each other,  
My sister, drowning in alcohol    
And soiled, reluctant sheets  
Echoing with her wails of pain    
Eyes heavy from responsibility  
And fear  
My oldest brother, running on the streets    
Falling mind first into toxic snow    
Syncing needles    
Handcuffs, sirens, his fists    
Scarred and scarlet    
The middle child,    
Cornered in dark alleys    
His nose and sanity dripping as they  
Ruin the boy who once played with Legos, laughing  
Becoming violent and intimidating  
Myself,    
Locked in rooms for days  
Without light    
Only one of my parents fighting for me,    
His words soothing and persuading,    
   
I only wish I had been careful enough to see him    
For what he was  
   
Years, years,    
No contact,    
She was dark,  
He was imprisoned,  
He was addicted to virtual escape,    
I was broken, rebuilt, then shattered  
   
Drugs, fights, alcohol,  
Abuse, neglect, suicide,  
Miscarriages, lies, abortions,    
Self harm, rape, heartbreak;  
   
Depression, anxiety, BPD,  
Sacrifice, cigarettes, neon,  
Autism, meds, sociopathy,    
Poverty, manipulation, death;  
   
Fear,    
Terror-