Traces of Places

I miss the way you'd understand me
As if it were always effortless
My heart was never safe with you
But I remember why I thought it was

It was like we were one person
Thoughts and feelings shared completely
Connected by our flaws
Redefining what embodies perfection

In nights of misunderstanding
I find myself searching for you
Wishing that you wanted to be here
Hoping you could hear my calls

But you've long let go and closed that door
I am but a fragment of time
Just a space that filled you with moments
Not one that left you empty when gone

And yet, still, I turn to who you used to be
The one who could always get through to me
Trying to remember what you'd say
To get me back on track
How you'd respond with validation to how I'd react
To these types of situations
Sometimes you'd even react stronger than I
Clearing the blurred lines of right and wrong
When I didn't realize where they were
Because I was too accustom to how it felt

I still felt crazy, but more like the kind you wanted
So it was easier to embrace
You liked me as I was
And took care of me in the right ways
So every time I encountered one of "them"
I could come back to rest in the safety of us
Funny how you killed the safety
Yet you're my last feeling of deep trust

I silently reach out in moments of brokenness
They take me nowhere but away from here
And back to you
It's a shame I appreciated your comfort so much
And that the only way to soothe the pain of now
Is to focus on your past touch
Not your present hurtful acts
Throwing me away without a word and such

I didn't fall in love with moments
I fell in love with what they meant
I fell in love with how we got there
As well as where we went
I could exist in them authentically
Be myself unquestioningly
I search for answers in reflections of you
When the world only wants the pretend me

Subconscious forces pull me
Like magnets to you I drift
I don't feel less broken
I just remember when I did
A familiar sadness gives you relevance
And you come alive once again
It's strange how a heart will look for life
In traces of places that are dead