Monsters in my head

 

Monsters buried in my head
Demons out to play
It’s psychological warfare
In this fruit loop crazy Brain
The pains embedded in my skin
My soul is full of scars
Sleepless as I toss and turn
This nightmares gone to far
Incapable of happiness
Depression it’s no joke
Anxious everywhere I go
Paranoid with this weed smoke
People watching as I go
Observing carefully
Wishing I was you not me
Let’s Swap life’s and let me see
From birth a dark clouds followed me
The spawn of Satan’s child
Monsters living in my head
So Nasty, vicious, wild
Nobody understands me
How can they when I wear a mask?
I Disguise my pain with laughter
A shiny smile that will not last .
I never chose this life
To be possessed with fear
To loath myself in the mirror
To shed so many tears
For no good reason just a void
That’s Empty to its core
A heavy burden weighs me down
I can’t explain how sore .
These pills aren’t working doctor please
This weed ain’t strong enough
Ones own self just drinks to blackout
Man this world is tough .
Who wants normal? ‘I want normal’
Stress and care free life
As good as my intentions are
I can’t defeat my strife
The happy endings on tv
They Temporary heal
The sadness deep inside my heart
It disconnects and steals
 all there joy and happiness
I somehow make it mine
Even if it’s make belief
It works for a short while
The movie ends then I am left
Deep in my own thoughts
Depressed and anxious, paranoid
Why did this movie have to stop?
I don’t think I can cope with this
To live another day
This gun is staring back at me
Trigger happy kills this pain
Much of you will be surprised
At how I really felt
And why I pulled the trigger on
My brain dead splattered head ! BOOM 🔫