Pain

Out into the world I pop
Detached from mothers womb
The odds where stacked against me
From day dot I was doomed
A family tree strung out on crack
Listen learn receive
Mimic what I see each day
Shapes and forms beliefs
Scared of my own shadow
and Never fitting in
Racism it gets me down
The bully’s always win
Longing for my dad you see
He cut me off at birth
Single mother with 2 kids
My mum she had it rough
A handful I could be at times
My temper rising up
Take no shit from anycunt
To make these bully’s stop
Crying in my room at night
Sad and discontent
5 years old and looking up
God where have you went ?
At school the teachers feared for my
Safety well as there’s
As I smash my classroom up
To stop me they don’t dare
Professionals they do there best
To get inside my head
Next it’s a psychologist
Preaching what they’ve read  
They can’t know dirty needles lay
Daily in my house
Laced and traced with crack and smack
Vallies all around
Or choking on the weed that’s smoked
Second hand to me
Getting high on all the fumes
Float invisibly.
Drifting off to foster care
The sky it seems much bigger  
Introduction to gang life
I’ve faces to disfigure
Popping pills and my cherry
Alcohol on top
Reprimanded to secure
In the hope that I might stop
Fat chance of that happening
The systems there to play
Not long till I’m free and out
To go and dig my grave
The welly farm they take me in
My last effort at school
Taxi’s every day and back
Pocket money to .
15 years of age I am
With new found Role models
Nobody gives a flying fuck
Intoxicated wobble
Chase the brown and pop the blues
Sitting on remand
In polmont , Perth and saughton to
Thinking I’m the man .
Early rise to get my meth
In the cell I go
Sleep all day back up for rec
Away to chase some blow
Years of this it takes its toll
I feel a sudden change
I lay at night and ask myself
A truth and false exchange
A pros and cons if you will
An all in one no brainer
I have to sort my life out man
And daily get more saner
Kick my habit do my rattle
Rehab here I come
Face my deepest darkest fears
Demons all in one
The color comes back to my face
shining once again
Ignition to my soul is sparked
Making new found friends
Out with the old and in with the new
Things are looking up
Positivity breeds success
Hard work never stops
Fake it till you make it and
I promise you will see
The precious fruits of life and more
Redemption and set free
Regardless of your circumstance
You can climb your way up
6 years in recovery now
I never would’ve thought
Married living Europe now
Scotland’s left behind
And all the madness goes with it
I cherish my sound mind
Bigger picture brighter future
Traveling the world
Inheriting different cultures and
Weather out the storm
I guess I’m grateful if you like
Gratitude it soars
Health and wealth and happiness
And many years of more .
There’s help out there
don’t Kid yourself
Scotland has its purpose
Take advantage of support
Shift a new found focus
Don’t look back always up
Safety is in numbers
Take direction from your peers
Listen read outnumber
Help out victims like you where
Share your wealth of knowledge
Lend a hand and give them hope
Guide them into college.
If you ever need someone
I’ll always be around
A shoulder or a phone calls sound
Coffee in the town.
On that note I go for now
Catch you in a flip flop
Poetry is my new thing
Can’t wait to hear this drop