deepundergroundpoetry.com
Skull-Truck
In a box,
in the Pandora's box,
we live with memories among our every fault,
and inside small compartments our every craving, or addiction and vice is hiding;
so moreish yet the spiders, rats, lice
are gnawing.
There! In the ever quiet,
in the corner of the shadow-less pitch,
the silence chews at sides -
There! The unfazed doll sits partially dressed,
with pennies tucked into brassier, suggesting merely
how her owner, old and dead now, sold out for greed.
In a box,
the Pandora's box
we live with a living memory of our every fault
highlighted and inside, compartments sit with each craving, or addiction and vice penciled on the base
to tempt us with what
never could materialize.
There! In our insides spiders, rats, lice
are gnawing.
in the Pandora's box,
we live with memories among our every fault,
and inside small compartments our every craving, or addiction and vice is hiding;
so moreish yet the spiders, rats, lice
are gnawing.
There! In the ever quiet,
in the corner of the shadow-less pitch,
the silence chews at sides -
There! The unfazed doll sits partially dressed,
with pennies tucked into brassier, suggesting merely
how her owner, old and dead now, sold out for greed.
In a box,
the Pandora's box
we live with a living memory of our every fault
highlighted and inside, compartments sit with each craving, or addiction and vice penciled on the base
to tempt us with what
never could materialize.
There! In our insides spiders, rats, lice
are gnawing.
Published 26th Sep 2011
| Edited 27th Sep 2011
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
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...a small comment, if I may.
In a cage
a Pandora's box, (do you mean a pandoras box inside a cage, or a cage like a pandoros box...tricky line to interpret)
we live with our memories among our every fault,
and inside compartments (and inside, compartments...)
is every craving, or addiction and vice,
so moreish but the spiders, rats, lice
are gnawing.
There! The ever quiet,
in the corner of the shadow-less pitch,
the ever silence that chews the bars - shut.
There! The unfazed doll sits partially dressed,
with pennies tucked into brassier, suggesting merely
how her owner, old and dead now, sold out for greed (great great line)
In a cage,
a Pandora's box (same issue...not sure how to read it)
we live with the living memory of our every fault
highlighted and inside compartments with each craving, or addiction and vice penciled on the base
to tempt us with what
never could materialize.
There! In our insides spiders, rats, lice
are gnawing.
The picture you are trying to build keeps getting scattered by the lines that are ambiguous...save ambiguity for the "I meant it to be confusing" crowd....cos you are way past that...
Apologies if I'm off the path of your intent.
Hugh.
In a cage
a Pandora's box, (do you mean a pandoras box inside a cage, or a cage like a pandoros box...tricky line to interpret)
we live with our memories among our every fault,
and inside compartments (and inside, compartments...)
is every craving, or addiction and vice,
so moreish but the spiders, rats, lice
are gnawing.
There! The ever quiet,
in the corner of the shadow-less pitch,
the ever silence that chews the bars - shut.
There! The unfazed doll sits partially dressed,
with pennies tucked into brassier, suggesting merely
how her owner, old and dead now, sold out for greed (great great line)
In a cage,
a Pandora's box (same issue...not sure how to read it)
we live with the living memory of our every fault
highlighted and inside compartments with each craving, or addiction and vice penciled on the base
to tempt us with what
never could materialize.
There! In our insides spiders, rats, lice
are gnawing.
The picture you are trying to build keeps getting scattered by the lines that are ambiguous...save ambiguity for the "I meant it to be confusing" crowd....cos you are way past that...
Apologies if I'm off the path of your intent.
Hugh.
27th Sep 2011 11:07am
Hey, thank you! I don't know what my path of intent is at the moment. Not really connecting with anything, the edits will definitely help, thanks, Hugh.
27th Sep 2011 12:56pm
great stuff LA!
your recent edit has made an easier read of it.
the depth in this poem is almost bottomless i think it will take me a few more reads to gain the full insight you have put out there.
your recent edit has made an easier read of it.
the depth in this poem is almost bottomless i think it will take me a few more reads to gain the full insight you have put out there.
27th Sep 2011 3:00pm
