deepundergroundpoetry.com
Chosen: Not by Blood
I've been so selfish. Thinking only of what losing you meant to me. It never crossed my mind what losing a father did to you. I swear it wasn't your fault. I would have kept you if I could. Maybe that's just what I tell myself so I can sleep at night.
Funny thing is, I don't. Not really. You plague my subconscious on most nights. You come and go as you see fit. How do I reach for you when there's no hand to grasp?
I guess what I missed the most is the sense of purpose you gave me. You made life make sense. If I could be your hero, what else could I possibly need?
I know you'll be ok. Nothing has ever stopped you before. Still I sit and wonder. What impact did I make? I played my role the best I could. All i need to know is that it meant something.
Then my life wouldn't be such a waste.
Funny thing is, I don't. Not really. You plague my subconscious on most nights. You come and go as you see fit. How do I reach for you when there's no hand to grasp?
I guess what I missed the most is the sense of purpose you gave me. You made life make sense. If I could be your hero, what else could I possibly need?
I know you'll be ok. Nothing has ever stopped you before. Still I sit and wonder. What impact did I make? I played my role the best I could. All i need to know is that it meant something.
Then my life wouldn't be such a waste.
Published 25th Dec 2017
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 3
reading list entries 0
comments 2
reads 579
Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
Anonymous
25th Dec 2017 4:01pm
Zach, I have so many thoughts on this beautiful letter to your girl. My first thought is that it's necessary initially to be "selfish" at times like these. It's s survival instinct to look out for our own healing first. If not, how can we look to help other survivors? You've not been selfish, only hurt. And it's a testament to your good and genuine heart that you immediately turn to her this way now. Beautifully written piece, my friend, from the deep pockets of your loving heart. Perhaps one day she will read this and tell you what you need to hear... So many hugs for you this Christmas morning
26th Dec 2017 3:16am
I don't know the story behind this but I can feel the pain in your writing...my heart goes out to you and your daughter. I pray whatever it is you both find true happiness in life.
