deepundergroundpoetry.com
De Ja Vu
You would think that at three o clock in the morning
someone would notice the boy bouncing the basket ball
and on closer inspection shudder at the black eye
or the swollen lip with hard blood left to linger
Then again maybe it is just as-well no one does
the kind of people knocking around the street now
are hardly the most maternal minded of people
waiting for a chance to share their love of Jesus
Me? well even if I could muster enough strength
to stagger over to the kid bouncing the damn ball
I would probably just be greeted with the same
vacant stare that he gave me this time last night
someone would notice the boy bouncing the basket ball
and on closer inspection shudder at the black eye
or the swollen lip with hard blood left to linger
Then again maybe it is just as-well no one does
the kind of people knocking around the street now
are hardly the most maternal minded of people
waiting for a chance to share their love of Jesus
Me? well even if I could muster enough strength
to stagger over to the kid bouncing the damn ball
I would probably just be greeted with the same
vacant stare that he gave me this time last night
Written by
lepperochan
(CraicDealer)
Published 19th Sep 2011
| Edited 20th Sep 2011
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 12
reading list entries 2
comments 17
reads 1284
Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
Re: De Ja Vu
19th Sep 2011 7:12pm
This poem sets up the mindset of the lost ones who roam around us and cause us worry. You did a good job of letting the reader realize that in this world there are people who just . .. do . . . not . . . care.
1
re: Re: De Ja Vu
19th Sep 2011 7:35pm
thanks!, clownmask
and welcome to hell :)
yeah night time on the streets is a place where the wolves roam.
thanks for the read and comment.
and welcome to hell :)
yeah night time on the streets is a place where the wolves roam.
thanks for the read and comment.
well well well
19th Sep 2011 8:07pm
the sneaky poet. [:
i like how you switched up your voice here and came out with something that feels like i'm looking at it with my head turned sideways. nicely put, good sir! [:
i like how you switched up your voice here and came out with something that feels like i'm looking at it with my head turned sideways. nicely put, good sir! [:
1
re: well well well
19th Sep 2011 8:11pm
lol
19th Sep 2011 10:25pm
not bad at all buddy. replace love of jesus is my critcism. can find something that flows far more surly
1
re: lol
19th Sep 2011 11:47pm
You never disappoint
21st Sep 2011 11:54pm
re: You never disappoint
22nd Sep 2011 4:56am
LA
26th Sep 2011 8:04pm
Okay, if I like the next one I read at random you have a constant reader in me. Blooming good easy-reading show.
'just as-well no one does
the kind of people knocking around the street now
are hardly the most maternal minded of people
waiting for a chance to share their love of Jesus
Me? well even if I could...' Amuses me, nice work.
'just as-well no one does
the kind of people knocking around the street now
are hardly the most maternal minded of people
waiting for a chance to share their love of Jesus
Me? well even if I could...' Amuses me, nice work.
1
re: LA
26th Sep 2011 9:30pm
well thank you LA
needless to say i have my fingers crossed you land on a half decent one next time.
cheers for the great comment :)
needless to say i have my fingers crossed you land on a half decent one next time.
cheers for the great comment :)
you don't consider this half decent?
1st Oct 2011 3:01am
silly man, this was fantastic.
emotion flowing through eyes always gets to me.
it's unnerving in a very accomplished way.
I really enjoyed it :)
emotion flowing through eyes always gets to me.
it's unnerving in a very accomplished way.
I really enjoyed it :)
1
re: you don't consider this half decent?
1st Oct 2011 4:32am
Re: De Ja Vu
5th Sep 2012 12:14pm
I thought I had the measure of this piece, only to be flipped full face at the last ... how smoothly brutal of you. Mighty fine.
1
Re: De Ja Vu
6th Sep 2012 12:13pm
Kaatho.
smoothly brutal, I like that.
Very kind of you to drop in and leave your thoughts.
Thanks lots.
smoothly brutal, I like that.
Very kind of you to drop in and leave your thoughts.
Thanks lots.
Re. De Ja Vu
10th Mar 2016 2:25pm
You have a great way of taking the reader to the scene. Or maybe it's more showing them what they aren't really seeing? Very nice. :)
0
Re: Re. De Ja Vu
10th Mar 2016 3:50pm
hullo, Willows
and you're very welcome to DU. I'm more than happy with either one of those
you're very kind, and thank you for dropping by and leaving your thoughts
and you're very welcome to DU. I'm more than happy with either one of those
you're very kind, and thank you for dropping by and leaving your thoughts
Re. De Ja Vu
Anonymous
17th Aug 2016 1:31am
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