The Bridge

 
It was a nippy Autumn evening
We’d been out for a nice meal
The lobster bisque was exquisite
I wanted to go dancing to the club
You, as usual, were way too tired
You said “But its getting late honey!”
Shit! It was only nine thirty five
Still she always gets her way
We walked home over the bridge
Took time to watch the river
Then you started moaning
“Can’t we just go? I’m freezing!”
Like the Mr Dutiful I am; we left
Got home about nine forty five
Paid the rather cute baby sitter
She left happy in a Taxi cab
Checked in on the kids; sleeping
I sat on the bed still clothed
I watched her undress casually
She stopped half way and sighed
She finished changing for bed
Behind a firmly shut bathroom door
I stripped and lay on the bed naked
How could she resist this specimen
I started playing with myself
Getting myself erect and ready
The bathroom door creaked open
“Awe for fuck sake David! What
Do you think you’re doing. Is
That all I am to you a sex object
Jesus H Christ give me a break
I am just not in the fuckin mood!”
She always had that special way
Of verbally cutting me in half
Making me feel so fucking small
“When are you ever in the mood?”
I didn’t talk back very often, but
“Maybe if you weren’t such an asshole
And had a bigger cock and were even
Good in bed, you really are useless
I don’t eve know why I stay with you
You dick, now shut the fuck up
I need my beauty sleep!” for once
We were in total agreement
I got up and put my clothes
Back on “oh what now, shit
What the fuck are you doing
Where do you think you are
Fuckin going at this time, fuck!”
So here I am it’s two a.m.
And I am back at the bridge
Nervously I struggle to the edge
I stare at the water pensively
‘Should I? shouldn’t I? Shit!’
I made a loud splashing sound
As I threw he headless corpse
Into the river wrapped in carpet
Weighted down with chains
I looked nervously at the water
‘My package, still floating. Fuck!’
I shouldn’t have worried so and
I smiled as it submerged slowly
Like a submarine; out of sight
I put her head on the kitchen table
I had painted it with yacht varnish
So that she could still spend time
With the kids, maybe even baby-sit
While I go out with the babysitter

Note to self: Need more and heavier
Chains for the next time, speed things up