i killed the world (god-complex)

my shaky voice and slow words
can’t trick you into thinking i’m pretty
they say it sometimes on the internet    
but i think they just want to taste me--fuck a girl like the movies--
it’s not real, i gave my best pose
watch me while i decompose
I need to get out of my head
and realize i’m not the only one half-dead
the pavement and the supermarkets closing in on me
and i’m writing myself out
to hold my world up
sanity’s slipping away and i think i’m a disembodied corpse of myself
crack open my skull and find God lying there
disassociating straight into space
when i sit on the school bus looking at the houses
with the sun in my eyes and lo-fi static in my brain
i’m losing myself in my daydreams
i don’t wanna drive a car
i just wanna drink diet pepsi all day with the TV on
till i fade, my teeth rot away and i’m gone.
i need to get better goals or at least find words to inspire the suicide kids with.
i think i’m gonna be okay and the world won’t die in me--you’re just a myth
giving me comfort, you can kill me when it’s summer (don’t die kids)
i hate my words and i wish i was something worthwhile--
not just a mess made of bad skin
and everything that reminds me of you