Another Desperate Day

 Laying here in this motel bed, feeling as if I may puke, my visions blurry, and my head is spinning. I just injected close to forty dollars worth of dope, and dammit that shit it's fire.

This last week's been a rough one, Lisa and I got discovered in the apartment we'd been living in by the owner of the building, he didn't call the cops, but he wasn't very happy to discover that Duster had moved out and moved us in.

We moved into a room at motel 6 that day, and so far I've been able to hustle enough per day to keep us ndoors, with cigarettes and at least a meal a day. It's better than being outside scrounging thru ashtrays for Snipes

I ran some sick game on these youngsters that came down to get a ball and got served salt instead. I acted like I got fucked too, and I called them a week later and said I'd got the guy and had there shit. I sold em some cut after conning then into buying me and my guy breakfast.

Later that sent me messages on Facebook informing me that I can't hustle. I thought it was hilarious, especially since I had hustled them twice and even scored a free breakfast for me and my backup.

Word of that particular bit of fuckery quickly spread throughout Western Kansas and pissed off quite a few people who were horrified that such a thing could happen right there in the very circles where they bought their own dope.

The first time I got em for $180 of fake dope, then they got $100 of real dope from me, thru a regular customer of mine who found what I had done to be very humorous. The second time I got em for another $150 plus breakfast.

I spent the rest of the day hustling real dope and getting high, happy, but burned out to the core, , secure in the knowledge that I had another guaranteed night indoors and plenty of dope to use.

Now I'm back to moving around, on my own, no backup, no relationship, just me, my back pack and my addiction, the hungry demon screaming inside my head. Thoughts of just leaving here, hitchhiking to Colorado, and leaving all this behind fill my head.

Maybe I'll take off for real this time, maybe I'll do one more big shot and crash and burn on another burned out morning. Another 24 hours wasted, destroying myself day after day.