deepundergroundpoetry.com
Indignation
Like the tide
You rip me away
To a place
Where we stay
Young, forever...
We blaze
And dazed
The days
Are a haze
Of smoke...
Underwater
Mountains high
Think we’re flying
In the sky
But in the morning
Spit ashore
Crawling whore
Of dissatisfaction
I rise and start
Get ready and go
A slave of
Indignation
I wonder why
Is he immune
To the subjugations
Of oppression?
Are these just lies
Starry eyed
High
And losing wisdom?
You rip me away
To a place
Where we stay
Young, forever...
We blaze
And dazed
The days
Are a haze
Of smoke...
Underwater
Mountains high
Think we’re flying
In the sky
But in the morning
Spit ashore
Crawling whore
Of dissatisfaction
I rise and start
Get ready and go
A slave of
Indignation
I wonder why
Is he immune
To the subjugations
Of oppression?
Are these just lies
Starry eyed
High
And losing wisdom?
Published 8th Oct 2017
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8th Oct 2017 8:02pm
wow - now that's what I call a question - I actually didn't expect the last stanza and it intially jarred with me, then I read it again, then I read it out loud and the last stanza is perfect :-)
We blaze
And dazed
The days
Are a haze
Of smoke.. - wonderful :-)
We blaze
And dazed
The days
Are a haze
Of smoke.. - wonderful :-)
8th Oct 2017 8:26pm
Strangely enough, I felt jarred by the last stanza as well, but only due to the fact that I am at conflict within about the culpability of my crutches. Truth is, I feel like I remember crafting a brevity of a poem long ago using a similarly-structured question. I loved that the last stanza produced itself in such a way. This was another Freudian moment of uninhibited flow, I believe; capturing, perhaps unbeknownst to the reader, the ambivalent balancing acts of self-judgment that rage within... As always, thank you for your feedback David! :) You're so engaging & inciting!! I can live with this! :D Hehe
12th Oct 2017 11:34pm
"But in the morning
Spit ashore
Crawling whore
Of dissatisfaction"
that's the way of these things
they leave us disgusted & dissatisfied
when our feet tough back to Earth..
exceptionally deep self inventory
& fantastic questions posed to self..
~Raven
Spit ashore
Crawling whore
Of dissatisfaction"
that's the way of these things
they leave us disgusted & dissatisfied
when our feet tough back to Earth..
exceptionally deep self inventory
& fantastic questions posed to self..
~Raven
Why Raven! I thank you~
for such a sentimental rapport
to my poetic expressions herein <3
Indeed, I am touched deeply
to know of a peer's response
...unabashed <3
for such a sentimental rapport
to my poetic expressions herein <3
Indeed, I am touched deeply
to know of a peer's response
...unabashed <3
