deepundergroundpoetry.com
GRACE
Trauma is caused by grief
The loss of one you love
Or a love
Grace died before she was born
In her mother's belly
And I sung to her corpse
As we held her in the birthing pool
And I loved because I knew her
And all she'd done
And we put her in a shoe box
In the tiny clothes we'd bought
And slept four nights beside her
While her outsides and my insides
Became hard and cold
And I buried that box
These twenty years or so
And hated myself
That I hadn't saved her
And I should have saved her
And I've punished myself
Everyday ever since
And seen her in every eye
And hand I've tried to hold
And I'm sorry to those I hurt
In my blind rage and guilt
And those that I blamed
In my shame
Now it's time to look again
And see what Love made
Where Love had gone
For I have loved
And lived to write these words
The loss of one you love
Or a love
Grace died before she was born
In her mother's belly
And I sung to her corpse
As we held her in the birthing pool
And I loved because I knew her
And all she'd done
And we put her in a shoe box
In the tiny clothes we'd bought
And slept four nights beside her
While her outsides and my insides
Became hard and cold
And I buried that box
These twenty years or so
And hated myself
That I hadn't saved her
And I should have saved her
And I've punished myself
Everyday ever since
And seen her in every eye
And hand I've tried to hold
And I'm sorry to those I hurt
In my blind rage and guilt
And those that I blamed
In my shame
Now it's time to look again
And see what Love made
Where Love had gone
For I have loved
And lived to write these words
Published 28th Sep 2017
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
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comments 19
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28th Sep 2017 2:12pm
Oh dearest Whale
this is a heartbreaking write
written with such love
she is smiling down at you from the cosmos
little angel..
love & hugs Brenda
this is a heartbreaking write
written with such love
she is smiling down at you from the cosmos
little angel..
love & hugs Brenda
28th Sep 2017 4:23pm
28th Sep 2017 5:13pm
Thanks for the comment Purpleheart it's much appreciated. We all suffer loss and grief and the trauma of this can affect our lives in directions none of us could possibly realise until that trauma is released and we can look back and reflect on it. The shock of Grace's death changed me because I didn't allow myself to know how shocked I was and heal.
For anyone going through this, I'm trying Havening and that working for me
For anyone going through this, I'm trying Havening and that working for me
28th Sep 2017 5:48pm
Yes I totally understand what you mean and it can affect our lives more than we realise. Time is a healer and I hope you find peace within. Best wishes to you.
28th Sep 2017 7:30pm
Whale, my friend...the poignant pain, and deep sorrow you have expressed, becomes so palpable in this piece...causing soo many heart-cracks!
All too often, through the shock, and trauma, at the sudden, unexpected loss of a loved one, we are unable to process our feelings of grief--especially with regards to the death of an infant, or young child. Sometimes, it can take years, before we can even begin the entire grieving process...or begin to understand how drastically our lives were affected.
Please know i am so, so sorry, that you had to experience such a tragic loss! Writing this must surely have been difficult for you, but i sincerely hope that it has helped with your healing process. i will be keeping you close-- in my thoughts....in my prayers...and in my heart. Sending you warm, tight, comforting Hugs!
Sioch`ain leat,
Enchantress xx
All too often, through the shock, and trauma, at the sudden, unexpected loss of a loved one, we are unable to process our feelings of grief--especially with regards to the death of an infant, or young child. Sometimes, it can take years, before we can even begin the entire grieving process...or begin to understand how drastically our lives were affected.
Please know i am so, so sorry, that you had to experience such a tragic loss! Writing this must surely have been difficult for you, but i sincerely hope that it has helped with your healing process. i will be keeping you close-- in my thoughts....in my prayers...and in my heart. Sending you warm, tight, comforting Hugs!
Sioch`ain leat,
Enchantress xx
29th Sep 2017 10:43am
Hey Enchanting one - joy to have you here - tragedy is so often the gateway to understanding
28th Sep 2017 11:21pm
For a parent, to lose a child, means pain you'll never get over with. The child is yours, made by your flesh, forever rooted in your heart. But some of our little ones aren't meant to grow up no matter how much you love them and care for them. I'm so sorry for your loss, whale, and hope you'll find comfort and peace.
29th Sep 2017 10:44am
30th Sep 2017 9:40am
A powerful and poignant poem...your heartache pours from each line.
Cheers...Harry
Cheers...Harry
1st Oct 2017 12:02pm
2nd Oct 2017 00:18am
2nd Oct 2017 5:23pm
2nd Oct 2017 3:40am
Such a loss I can never know. So deeply expressed it makes my soul hurt...
JJ
JJ
3rd Oct 2017 2:48pm
Anonymous
3rd Oct 2017 8:59am
you brought me to my knees with a white flag shivering
in my hand
dear whale, may a piece of my heart and a piece of my
breath sail to you
in my hand
dear whale, may a piece of my heart and a piece of my
breath sail to you
3rd Oct 2017 2:49pm
Brother, to experience the birth of one's own flesh and blood is arguably the most emotionally intense experience a person will endure. It is an extremely fragile situation, where the welfare of both the mother and child can swing from uncertainty, to elation and/or tradegy literally in a heartbeat.
I've been so very fortunate... so I felt overwhelmed with emotion when I read your poem. I can not claim to know the magnitude of your pain, but as a parent I can sense the hurt through the power of your words, and through my fear, the fear a parent will often put themselves through to prepare for the worst.
Profoundly expressed and emotionally charged. Thank you for sharing this very personal poem, brother.
I've been so very fortunate... so I felt overwhelmed with emotion when I read your poem. I can not claim to know the magnitude of your pain, but as a parent I can sense the hurt through the power of your words, and through my fear, the fear a parent will often put themselves through to prepare for the worst.
Profoundly expressed and emotionally charged. Thank you for sharing this very personal poem, brother.
3rd Oct 2017 2:56pm
