Tirade.

I have searched for words  
To fill my eyes.  
Words that relate    
To my mental state    
And I've dug and I've    
Dug to find    
Somewhat of a representation  
Of my heart condition    
But I've gotten stuck    
In the thought    
That I am the only one    
To feel it.    
To feel so much.    
To come back and  
Find him gone  
After so many have    
Shut the door correlating  
To me this past month  
I was strung out    
Trying to cover    
To hold them all together    
In worthless abandon    
They all scatter    
Into the rain  
But maybe I was  
Producing thunder    
And lightening    
Maybe I was    
Not safe.    
So alone I may be.    
And now rain    
Floods my eyes  
If I was not a storm    
Before    
I most definitely am    
Currently    
Without a reason    
To stop my tirade    
For no one    
It will reach.