My Penis 5.1 (A Sequel)

 
(i)
Yesterday
I took a
Photograph
Of my Penis
I then had
To get it
Enlarged

(ii)
Very much like a powerful dog
I am led around by my penis
It has a nose for trouble
It goes wild at the beach
And completely nuts in the park
It loves meat and gravy
It digs holes
It’s a butt sniffer
Likes to bury a boner
Will hump almost anything
Animal, vegetable or mineral
Other people’s legs
It likes to be tickled
It likes to be stroked
He’ll come if you call him
He’ll explode if you pull him

(iii)
I always wanted my penis
To be twelve inches long
Because the it would be a foot
A condom for me would
Be a Wellington boot
I could put my foot in it for you
If I could put my foot in my
Mouth I probably would
As it is I could give you
Twelve inches easily
In four instalments

(iv)
I had to stand on a stool to reach puberty
I thought pubic hare was bugs bunny’s mate
I thought an erection was for peeing over fences
I thought kissing a girl would get her pregnant
I thought you could get an STD from a toilet seat
I thought a blow job was something ladies did to their hair
Didn’t know what a cunt was apart from my Dad
I thought fillatio was a famous Roman emperor
Eventually I found a use for my penis erectus
Life was never the same again
I experimented more times the Einstein

(v)
My penis and I
Are firm fans
Of the blow job
As long as they
Don’t actually
Blow!
I have covered
My penis in many
Things:
Chocolate sauce
Chocolate syrup
Chocolate chips
Chocolate sprinkles
Cake mix
Pancake batter
Ice cream
Whipped cream
Pouring cream
Clotted cream
Milk shake
Condensed milk
Rice pudding
Custard
Trifle
Tiramisu
Apple pie
Cherry pie
Cheese cake
And of course
Pork gravy
Do you like
Those ideas
Or do you want
To try something
Different?