A broken soul

When you have demons in your soul it is hard to ever find any self worth.  The things done to you in the name of love twist and stunt the growth of a loving heart.  It leaves behind someone who seeks but never finds.  The addict emerges who takes everything in his path and destroys it, still yearning for more.  You seek oblivion in any form you can find it.  And while there are moments of brightness, they are brittle and easily shattered.  You know right from wrong and you see how the depths of you desire the craven broken poisoned things.  The things that you embrace and in so doing diminish yourself.  You can only live with the sickness that seeps into you for so long before you seek escape.  You know that everyone will be better off without your stain upon their lives.  And the demons cavort on the grave of the boy you used to be.  They welcome you in with open arms and watch as your obsessions push even the good things to breaking point.  And as they break and the anguish rises and the self hatred flows in your veins, you know what you must do.  You plan your exit so carefully, so meticulously, because even though it is final, it will still stop the pain.  And the pain crushes you down and saps away your will to live.  Hating yourself is the most lonely place to be.