deepundergroundpoetry.com
Tracy
I was twelve
the tween years
innocent but not quite
when John Mellencamp's
Hurts So Good video came out
bopping round the living room
with my friend Tracy
wearing a bra stuffed with barbie clothes
my tiny buds had just started to blossom
but hadn't fully bloomed
popping my gum
singing along with the song
hurts so good yeah, yeah, yeah,
my virgin cherry still intact
not having a clue what I was talking about
Tracy on the other hand
already looked
acted like a woman
big boobs, tiny waist
real popular
sure of herself with the boys
my parents didn't like her
they thought she was sleazy
because she was poor I think
I thought her exciting
she taught me things
like where her heroin addict
step dad kept his rig hidden
as well as his hustler mags
thinking back her step dad
sure did like to tell us
how beautiful we were
she cried a lot
stabbed me in the back
lied on me
to her stoner friends
all to be cool
Tracy taught me many things
I wish I'd never known
& love
doesn't hurt so good
Copyright © 2017 Crimsin. All Rights Reserved
Published 14th Apr 2017
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 15
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comments 34
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14th Apr 2017 8:18am
14th Apr 2017 4:54pm
14th Apr 2017 8:50am
poignant. must have been tough to write. i like the self reflective narrative and discovery. the poetry is in the stream of consciousness observations...nice job Crimsin.
14th Apr 2017 4:55pm
thank you Poetrician for feeling this write.. yes it was tough to write brought back some painful memories.. love Crim
14th Apr 2017 10:38am
So that's the culprit to the beginning of your future pains huh? Damn... I wish you had never been hurt by this girl, n that she
was actually GOOD for your life.
was actually GOOD for your life.
14th Apr 2017 4:56pm
thank you Poe me too.. yeah was my first exposure to that kind of life.. I don't know why we travel certain paths maybe and hopefully for a good reason.. love Crim
14th Apr 2017 10:39am
as you reveal in your your words you help us reveal ourselves to ourselves - I had a whole stack of friends in my life who time after time filled the Tracy role - and they were all fucked up worse than I imagined
14th Apr 2017 4:57pm
thank you Whale glad you got something from this write.. yeah she had problems I had no understanding of.. love Brenda
Anonymous
14th Apr 2017 1:37pm
This should be required reading in elementary school. Poetry like this would help educate children about such issues before domestic problems take root.
14th Apr 2017 5:02pm
thank you Johnny that's a wonderful idea maybe give children knowledge on what is wrong and right.. give them a clue.. I believe it would have helped me because I was clueless to the danger I was in and the suffering my friend was going through.. love Crim
Anonymous
14th Apr 2017 2:11pm
The lessons one looks back and thinks "I wish I'd known then what I know now..." are the ones that make the most profound impact on our lives, for better or worse. This little glimpse into your life was beautifully written and painfully felt.
14th Apr 2017 4:59pm
thank you lovely lady you're right I've had to travel a hard road for some unknown reason or rather has not yet been revealed to me.. someday I will know.. I deeply appreciate your thoughts... love Crim
14th Apr 2017 2:29pm
This is so realistically penned, Brenda. We all have or have had a 'Tracy'. And while the lessons are painfully present throughout our lives, it's exactly what enables us to recognize and appreciate the contrast of Loyalty and the beauty of Truth. I have come to learn that these types of teachers leave us with the most profound lessons that trigger two choices: bitter distrust or growth through forgiveness.
Excellent write.
Excellent write.
14th Apr 2017 5:03pm
thank you beautiful lady yes I am confronted by my own words in this write I haven't forgiven her.. she suffered more than I understood.. it's time I do.. love Brenda
14th Apr 2017 5:33pm
The things we learn from the mouth of others,
are sometimes better left unsaid. I'm with you
on that, Brenda.
are sometimes better left unsaid. I'm with you
on that, Brenda.
14th Apr 2017 5:52pm
thank you dearest Jerry yeah was a rough ride.. got into my first fist fight over what was said.. among other trials.. appreciate your understanding.. love Brenda
Anonymous
14th Apr 2017 5:41pm
lord alone knows why certain people are put into our path, regardless of their intentions or proclivities... think we've all had a tracy in our lives at one time or another just to teach us something we mah not learn otherwise.
this makes me ache for you brenda but your delivery is filled with such a sense of understanding, with a graciousness only accomplished from having learned
xxx
love you stacks lady
this makes me ache for you brenda but your delivery is filled with such a sense of understanding, with a graciousness only accomplished from having learned
xxx
love you stacks lady
14th Apr 2017 5:54pm
thank you beautiful one I believe our path is agreed upon by us before we enter the flesh realm.. so she was a teacher to me just wish I would have been wiser back then and could have helped her.. love you dear one.. xo Brenda
14th Apr 2017 5:50pm
I love these glimpses into the moments that shaped you. For better or worse mostly everyone has a Tracy in their life. Some luckier than others to ascend from the darkness.
LIKE
LIKE
14th Apr 2017 5:55pm
thank you dearest Poet she gave me a lot of good times I just now feel for the pain she was enduring and I had no understanding to help.. love you.. xo Brenda
14th Apr 2017 6:15pm
This brought a tear to my eye...Many abused do things just to make themselves feel better and unwillingly hurt people they truly care about...Thanks for sharing a little bit of your past.
16th Apr 2017 00:49am
thank you Tim for feeling this poem so deeply yes she was going through things I had no understanding of softens my hard heart towards her now.. love Crim
15th Apr 2017 00:50am
Crim,
I had a Tracy type as well. It helped me to make sure I don't become a Tracy, and to also forgive and move on.
Hugs to you
I had a Tracy type as well. It helped me to make sure I don't become a Tracy, and to also forgive and move on.
Hugs to you
16th Apr 2017 00:50am
15th Apr 2017 2:23am
you've got my writer sparks going especially on the subject of forgiveness - I am not sure I can follow conventional wisdom on this one :-)
thanks for waking up my head today :-)
thanks for waking up my head today :-)
16th Apr 2017 00:51am
thank you David always happy to inspire :) & forgiveness is great no matter how it comes about.. love you.. xo Brenda
15th Apr 2017 5:32am
Such a heartwrenching write, dear Crim!
It must have been really difficult to write and it takes a lot of courage to look at your past and see where it went wrong...
Thank you for sharing this part of yourself... Love, Duende
It must have been really difficult to write and it takes a lot of courage to look at your past and see where it went wrong...
Thank you for sharing this part of yourself... Love, Duende
16th Apr 2017 00:52am
thank you for understanding this write Duende yes it was the start of a very rough road.. love Crim
Anonymous
15th Apr 2017 10:15pm
Brenda.. so unselfish.. you always share wisdom, and growing pains.. i admire you so.. love..
Dave
Dave
16th Apr 2017 00:53am
thank you Dave it helps me greatly to write about things and not hold them in.. I love you my brother.. xo Brenda
17th Apr 2017 00:22am
17th Apr 2017 9:25pm
thank you graciously Terry that is one of the best comments i've ever gotten :) love Brenda
Anonymous
12th May 2017 5:07am
My Beautiful Brenda....this broke my heart to read...although I am sure this is quite painful to reflect back on, it is a part which has shaped you into the most amazing woman...lessons learned and wisdom which is passed on...you have no idea how your words can affect people...so proud of all that you are and to be able to call you "my love"....I love you so very much!
Love Taryn xoxo
Love Taryn xoxo
12th May 2017 11:48am
thank you beautiful one yes it was a painful time but good memories too.. it's what shapes us I think.. I love you so much! xo Brenda
