On empty bullets and full hearts.

This one's for you...  
 
i.  
Your brain was a canvas  
28 days of love  
crossed off in chalk  
how many declarations  
of love was that?  
 
ii.  
 
She cheated, found a home in  
the pulsing cock of another man  
28 days of love  
how many declarations  
of love was that?  
 
iii.  
 
Sunsets don't spill  
over people who don't watch them  
they are not Gods  
omnipotence is not  
potent the way  
heartbreak is.  
 
Dear God,  
Fuck you for  
hurting him.  
 
iiii.  
His rap music  
is a minaret  
bleeding symphonies of pain  
over the minds of those  
in the know..  
one month, you say?  
how many days in the  
fucking calendar of  
heartache is that, again?  
 
iv  
Four..  
minutes  
Forty four  
seconds  
Forty bloodstains  
on your wall.  
 
10.10.16.  
 
Bedrooms are  
secret prison cells  
and love is your prisoner  
Tell it to let you go  
Tell it no woman is worth  
the click of that double barrel  
tell them no woman  
is worth death...  
unless they're your mother,  
 
4 days before my birthday.....  
 
V  
 
Today I listened  
to your recitation  
of a poem you wrote  
Our love was meant to be  
a saga...  
the gun  
missed your chest  
I threw up over my hands  
shaking in a toilet cubicle  
 
People were speculating  
forgive me for being  
one of them and  
allowing my curiosity to  
murder my sense of  
decency.  
 
The camera  
fell  
 
Blackness....  
 
Your shirt was off  
The lights in  
the street  
were off too.  
 
Just like that  
you
d i m i n i s h e ddddddd(ead)  
 
Please never leave...  
me....
-  
This was an Ode to a man who ended his life on a facebook live-stream on the 10th of October 2016. I never knew him, but one doesn't have to know another person to have their heart ripped out.  
To E.C;  
up in heaven. Maybe, maybe my heart will patch itself up again someday. Maybe the pain of the loss of you-a stranger- will stop burning. I am sorry. Someday, perhaps.. we'll meet. Until then, I will keep your memory alive down here.  
 
-- the title 'empty bullets and full hearts' is a reference to the fact that the first bullet missed..