Notes and letters.

     

i.
You had a mouth like      
peppermint.      
     
dear peppermint,      
are you being consumed      
by him the way I used to be?      
     
     
     ii.
I picked a rose      
the thorns pricking me      
the table is bare without      
your arm across it      
arm wrestling...?      
     
I never arm-wrestled again.      
     
iii.     
     
Dilirga gets played here      
at weddings.      
I know, I know      
what you're thinking...      
     --------
 
 
We were the picture of youth      
     
dear youth,      
have you arrested him,      
do you keep him in the crux      
of your arms and cradle him close.      
     
Fucking hell...      
     
Fuck you...      
     
I'm listening to Sezen Aksu      
full blast on proper headphones      
     
Her voice makes my    
 cheeks damp...      
     
Over this side of the water,      
something political went down      
     
I ask of you, over in the      
twin island miles away      
Are you safe tonight?      
If you're looking up at the      
stars with      
your new girl      
that's me      
bidding you farewell...      
     
Well...      
Wishing wells..      
     
We threw pennies      
into one of those, remember?      
If you want to know      
what I wished for, it was      
to be by your side      
f o r e v e r      
     
Dear 'Forever'      
You never wrote      
letters or poems      
telling me you were      
a fantasy...      
     
Dear Fantasies-      
thank you for      
arriving not in a chariot      
and for never being a cliche      
thank you for being Cypriot voices      
and American voices      
and English voices too...      
     
To 'too'      
     
You are a modicum      
of mere illusions      
you signal a coupling      
even though my legs are      
shut.      
     
Dear Shutting,      
     
You are the prison      
in which my eyes are      
kept captive.      
You're down,      
You're up...      
 My legs like you      
at least..      
     
It's better to shut up than to shut down      
it signals a rabbit-in-headlights awareness      
fuck me, fuck you, fuck all of this shit..      
     
Dear Shit,      
You are waste      
I am waste too..      
are we soulmates?      
     
On Soulmates,      
     
whittle away the flesh      
from tired bones that      
capture imprints of      
fantastical bodies      
covered in blood and vomit      
because I like a good murder scene      
& projectile spewing      
proves their worthlessness      
as they crawl away from me..      
     
dear me,      
Don't take life too seriously      
one day you'll have kids      
of your own and you      
wouldn't want them to become      
a mirror image of your fucked-up self,      
now.. would you?      
     
Dear you,      
scrape my soul      
from my heart      
let it drink you in      
revitalise itself before      
slipping back inside...      
     
Dear insides,      
try colouring outside the      
lines for once...      
     
Dear once,      
If only your heart      
didn't stop before      
people spoke your true name      
'Once upon a time...'      
     
Dear Time,      
take me away      
i'm well and truly      
done here..      
     
Dear here,      
where are you?      
where am I?      
What is this..?  
     
     
Author's notes      
- 'Dilirga' is a Cypriot Folk song typically played at weddings