deepundergroundpoetry.com
NO SHELTER
(Inspired by the "Only in a Storm" competition)
Raven clouds gather
they lay in wait
Light through soul windows
to suffocate
Composed mostly
of shame and fears
When rain descends
it falls as tears
Tempestuous self-loathing
sins refuse to expiate
Whirling tornado of hopelessness
a god can only ameliorate
Warm Wind of compassion
with roiling tumult collide
Forcing the storm to abate
Smiling friends bid join us outside
surrender ego to fate
Raven clouds gather
they lay in wait
Light through soul windows
to suffocate
Composed mostly
of shame and fears
When rain descends
it falls as tears
Tempestuous self-loathing
sins refuse to expiate
Whirling tornado of hopelessness
a god can only ameliorate
Warm Wind of compassion
with roiling tumult collide
Forcing the storm to abate
Smiling friends bid join us outside
surrender ego to fate
Published 4th Mar 2017
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 10
reading list entries 2
comments 15
reads 1025
Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
Anonymous
4th Mar 2017 11:04am
oooh i love this g!!!!
the progression is so well thought out
i can see the silver lining
xo
best of luck
the progression is so well thought out
i can see the silver lining
xo
best of luck
4th Mar 2017 7:17pm
Thank you Katja. It was my attempt to illustrate the torment of depression. I am that the silver lining touched you.
4th Mar 2017 12:31pm
4th Mar 2017 7:20pm
Thank you Mel. You perceived the message of reaching out for rescue. I am glad we could, for a time, journey together.
4th Mar 2017 4:48pm
I always enjoy seeing rhyme swim among the waters of free-verse. It's a tried-and-true form of poetic foundation that writers such as yourself keep alive with offerings such as these.
Thanks for the read.
Thanks for the read.
4th Mar 2017 7:22pm
Thank you Ahavati, I am inspired by the masters who so deftly used rhyme.
4th Mar 2017 6:52pm
4th Mar 2017 7:24pm
5th Mar 2017 7:18pm
It's been a while since I've paid much attention to things here...just a quick read here and there. But wow, this one made me take notice. I've weathered that storm - thanks for articulating the experience so beautifully! Straight to my reading list. Bravo!
6th Mar 2017 11:35pm
I am elated to know that weathered. Seems I weather one only to sail into the eye of another...God must think I'm a good sailor.
5th Mar 2017 9:48pm
The depression passes with that Warm Wind, ideally. I'm glad you ended this on a hopeful note. I'm still looking for some shelter... Excellent write!
6th Mar 2017 11:38pm
14th Mar 2017 5:04pm
I miss you Gahdess!, I
know my presence is a thin mist on here lately, but must
always come and enjoy you
AND this really slayed me, I felt a few bone crackle with
a hammering truth. Hugs
-Howlings
know my presence is a thin mist on here lately, but must
always come and enjoy you
AND this really slayed me, I felt a few bone crackle with
a hammering truth. Hugs
-Howlings
14th Mar 2017 5:43pm
Howlings, I too have not been as frequent a visitor to DUP. I have not been producing as much. I do occasionally feel that spark again and I write. I am so glad that you appreciate this piece. It is heart-felt and composing these words I too was comforted. Thank you...it's good to have you here.
Much enjoyed reading this poem, G_W. I like the rhyme, it comes easy and underlines the violent inner strife, calmed by the more conciliatory last stanza. Beautiful!
