THIS TIME AROUND  (11-6-12, 7:15pm, Palm Springs, California)

despite
my noblest
heartfelt intentions
i more clearly
realized
just now
that i appear
to be
in hopeless
subconscious
kahoots
with my
inner and outer
strengths
and weaknesses
the best
and worst
of me equally
of both
the bad
and good
the flawed
and flawless
love and light
within me
within us all
that i am
that we  
each are
though were  
mostly all
caught up
in the  
paradoxical
duality
of this  
challenging
world and lifes
near overwhelming
complexities
though conscious
of it all
as others  
both are  
and arent
just as much
as well
still i consciously
try to tip
the scales
of this life
im co creating
for myself
into a more
sustainable balance
with a more
predominant
free will bias
to center
and more
receptively open
more fully
my heart
and mind
to purest
light of source
beyond  
all this
meaningless
internalized
external other
we only think
and much  
too often believe
we are
yet still
i struggle
at times
like some blind
recyclic tide
even here deep
in the midst
of this moments
earnest
yet deceptive
perception
of all my
far from
less than perfect
past and present
efforts
to further  
quicken
my consciousness
to more fully
live and be
and share
the highest essence
of what
experiential truth
i know
to freely shine
its resonance
back out
into this
wondrous world
without the
self defeating ghosts
of any
old fears
regrets or doubts
to sabotage  
my chance
and hopes
to manifest
the simple
yet challenging
idealized goal
of nurturing
my optimal
spiritual growth
at last
this time
around