deepundergroundpoetry.com
yesterday's fire
it’s been years since we danced that dance
story came to an end like they usually do;
fire burned down to mediocre heats
never been the type to hold fast to dying light
so told my story walking
gone baby gone
don’t think of her much
too many come and gone
to give thought to any particular tune
not what the romantics like to hear
but if you aren’t the heat in the room
if you aren’t the compass of my blood
then you are worse than yesterday
no juice no joy
this morning
was looking through my journal
sitting quiet
working out the way the day would play
turned to a new page
and on it a hand written note
remembered how she would do that
would write notes to me
in the one book
she knew I’d come back to
would pick a page somewhere in the future
write to me
I used to like it
thought it showed something
more than optimism
the note said
“remember to call your girlfriend
and buy her a great big present”
I laughed
remembered the good bits of her
and there were plenty
but never did call her enough
picked up my phone
scrolled through it
don’t even have her number anymore
and never did get around
to buying her
that present
Written by
hemihead
(hemi)
Published 22nd Feb 2017
| Edited 23rd Feb 2017
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 10
reading list entries 2
comments 14
reads 1003
Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
Re. yesterday's fire
This brings a smile to my face hemi...it's truthful...your words paint a picture even down to laughing...I like that anothers words can have me visualising...the message, maybe it wasn't about her, maybe she knew she wasn't the 'compass of your blood' and they were a reminder to ph your current flame...I think I'll RL this one...thank you :-)
BTW...love this stanza...
not what the romantics like to hear
but if you aren’t the heat in the room
if you aren’t the compass of my blood
then you are worse yesterday
no juice no joy
BTW...love this stanza...
not what the romantics like to hear
but if you aren’t the heat in the room
if you aren’t the compass of my blood
then you are worse yesterday
no juice no joy
1
Re: Re. yesterday's fire
23rd Feb 2017 2:44am
My dear...no denying a woman's motive are mysterious, and won't be the one to pretend I've cracked the code :-) Pleased you liked the roll of it...damn now forgotten how to do this thing, so happy to luck one out solid... h....not like riding a bike...
Re. yesterday's fire
23rd Feb 2017 00:04am
I'm with Kate. I don't think she wrote it about her. I think she wrote it from her experience with you, maybe so you wouldn't repeat it with someone else. Women are intuitive like that.
I enjoyed the honest thought and easy conveyance of this, of what just is with no excuses.
I enjoyed the honest thought and easy conveyance of this, of what just is with no excuses.
1
Re: Re. yesterday's fire
23rd Feb 2017 2:45am
Howdy my dear...I like this take the ladies are running with, that the note was for me to do it better next time, and hell, could well be her angle.... Good on you for getting your joy on :-) h....never had a clue either way...
Re. yesterday's fire
23rd Feb 2017 9:39am
Hemi my apologies for not commenting earlier when I read this I too thought she was referring to another lady love of yours in her note.. your ending still left me with that question.. either way one hell of a solid write though I've come to expect nothing less from you..
love and respect Brenda
love and respect Brenda
1
Re: Re. yesterday's fire
23rd Feb 2017 6:38pm
Ah well....I'll rely on the usual excuse of the average writer, and claim it was my plan to not be clear all along :-) Good on you for feeling the words my dear... h....never less sure...surely...
Re. yesterday's fire
She sounds like a woman who knew exactly where she stood with you, enjoying the moments, because you have to make good memories even if they are ones that are temporary (and maybe those are the best ones. Everything fades) I imagine she was smiling when writing that note, reminding you to spoil whomever is next holding your attention when you read those words. :)
"too many come and gone" makes sense to me. All of your poems of your encounters with woman are always good feeling times. It is like you don't give them time to turn stale or wait until they become an emotional burden. No bad times to ponder over.
I don't know. After being single for longer than most "normal" adults are, I suppose your way sounds more appealing to me/my perspective has changed it seems.
Always enjoy reading your memoirs mister H. :)
"too many come and gone" makes sense to me. All of your poems of your encounters with woman are always good feeling times. It is like you don't give them time to turn stale or wait until they become an emotional burden. No bad times to ponder over.
I don't know. After being single for longer than most "normal" adults are, I suppose your way sounds more appealing to me/my perspective has changed it seems.
Always enjoy reading your memoirs mister H. :)
0
Re: Re. yesterday's fire
23rd Feb 2017 6:44pm
My dear...I sincerely hope my lifestyle choices are not being held up as a recipe for success...would always prefer the one-woman life, but, you know, the tyranny of distance, an enduring love affair with large construction jobs and a minor sailing addiction, coupled with my attraction to women who have their own shit going on, makes all things seem like I'm working actively on another plan....just the horse I've been given, more than any kind of choice... I'm starting to think you lot have got a crush on this lady....she would have been pleased to know it :-) H....still chasing dirt and sunsets....
Re: Re. yesterday's fire
23rd Feb 2017 7:03pm
Ah, I've never been a very good cook and pretty rubbish when it comes to following recipes ;) Maybe when you retire you can sail off into the sunset with the one-woman. I think us women are crushing more on the idea of this lady. :D Enjoy the dirt and sunsets while you have them.
0
Re. yesterday's fire
23rd Feb 2017 9:29pm
Re. yesterday's fire
24th Feb 2017 2:06pm
it's a fascinating story that continues in the comments, the way the women speculate, which of course is more than speculation;
me, I'd just feel good that someone wrote in my journal,
took that kind of interest in me...
me, I'd just feel good that someone wrote in my journal,
took that kind of interest in me...
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Re: Re. yesterday's fire
25th Feb 2017 10:07am
Mate....send me a blank journal, I'll throw down some feel-good for you to discover at your leisure :-) h...renting out feel-good must just be a thing.....
Re. yesterday's fire
Anonymous
15th Mar 2017 6:16am
Buenos
I find its not easy to keep stanzas to a level where they hold interest, especially when there are more than a few
I think your thoughts here command the space they occupy, I suppose there were challenges involved, but to be fair it's seamless enough
I've held an interest in this kind of writing. that's to say there is a definite style involved. some risks taken with the shortened sentences in relation to I's and such. there can be a fine line etc
[by no means an accusation, merely an observation]
while I'm here. ..there was something about soldier field. . ..can't remember. (:>
what I like about this style of writing is the level of relatable. I think I relate easier and faster because of the rawness of your thoughts.
ahh yes, I think it's Soldier field Chicago. some kind of event.
a pleasure to happen upon your scribbles, good hobbit
I find its not easy to keep stanzas to a level where they hold interest, especially when there are more than a few
I think your thoughts here command the space they occupy, I suppose there were challenges involved, but to be fair it's seamless enough
I've held an interest in this kind of writing. that's to say there is a definite style involved. some risks taken with the shortened sentences in relation to I's and such. there can be a fine line etc
[by no means an accusation, merely an observation]
while I'm here. ..there was something about soldier field. . ..can't remember. (:>
what I like about this style of writing is the level of relatable. I think I relate easier and faster because of the rawness of your thoughts.
ahh yes, I think it's Soldier field Chicago. some kind of event.
a pleasure to happen upon your scribbles, good hobbit
0
Re. yesterday's fire
hey there Hemi here it is a Friday night and I find myself looking through your writes a bit of nostalgia running through me... your writing always stirs a good feeling in me...special lady to hold your attention even for a time...I read this again it still holds power to make me feel a certain way...I never liked a man that was too easy something in that is not to be trusted...
solid writing with an honesty that's to be commended...
love Brenda
solid writing with an honesty that's to be commended...
love Brenda
0