Homesick

Homesick for a place I'm not even sure exist anymore
Perhaps it's something from the past that can't be recreated...
Sometimes my days drag on, my time seems subdued
And it's like I'm running in slow motion or I'm heavily sedated...
Who knows though?
Dark abysess and secret tunnels...
Watching every wall I've been defending
Fall down,shatter, and crumble...
Yeah, this is life now
Searching for old places and emotions that were better than the present...
Always thinking about past loves
And how all that passion, they could've kept it..
Since they all took it away
Deliberately wasted my time...
Mind games with me
Making me believe they were mine...
So naïve of me
Along with searching for a place I'm not even sure exist anymore...
What am I chasing after?
How can I know if I'm traveling backwards or moving forward?