Holy and goddam

Behind such a beautiful landscape
Deep underground with no escape
I am imprisoned and tied to the wall
Blood from my arms flows on the floor
It's not painful, darkness is not new
I got used to the cold and to you
To get the food that kills inside
To give affection I'd rather hide
And leaving only at night partly
With my soul outside trying to see
What's around. Freedom, yeah, okay
But I go down where it's all same
Burrow underground and no light
That's where I live, no longer fight
I take all you bring and kiss
Inside praying for release
Inside creaming for the light above
Dreaming to fly one day like a dove
"Please, leave it, stay here. Ground!
That wind also has some bound!"
"No, go, go, you will die slowly
Outside every day is holy"
Black and white are arguing in me
No one wins yet and I bleed
"You" is something ordinary, my life,
Handcuffs on arms and feet are also mine
Think I have keys as well and they
So deep inside in my being lay
That I am afraid to ever go down
Even though I live all life underground