battling to understand

   
We took to morning traffic
early
hardly anticipation    
for the forthcoming    
stare at number plates    
in sunrise peak hours.  
More consideration for being ready    
for the first time this year.    
   
Sandra filled the passenger seat of my    
pick up    
(She's pregnant, we have prejudice    
of past, present and future    
to discuss)    
How some men    
are only judgemental    
based on certain things.    
Did you know, inter religious shagging    
is socially acceptable  
but    
inter religious child birth is immoral?    
   
It was working through my head    
It was weighing my conscience down    
It was feeding my Libertarian mind    
right wing - liberalism.   
Thought of how often    
equality    
is not equal at all.  
   
   
I, was angry at myself    
in realising    
my distant mind    
had  missed    
the free-way-off-ramp    
that lead to
fetching my children.  
"I'm going to have to go the other way    
now;    
come back for them."    
   
She looked up at the road    
"This isn't the safest    
route, either"    
   
We tripped the highway    
watching bumpers kiss    
number plates wink    
Ladies cleaning mascara and eye liner    
in mirrors of the morning rush    
Buses and taxies hooting    
greatings    
at possible commuters    
in work wear and safety gear    
   
"Is your door locked" Sandra enquired    
as we began the city's    
lights to lights   
short distance sprints    
through  
Braamfontein into Hillbrow    
   
"These pimps and drug dealers    
don't care much for anyone, do they?"    
I retorted    
as she disembarked    
in the  
hospital's -drop-off-zone.  
Just in time for her appointment    
to see her baby's image    
for the first time.  
   
I drove off with  
a sadness in my heart    
her baby's daddy should  
be there    
was silencing the heat    
   
34 degrees before 8am    
the sweat was showering through my skin    
I lived it.  
Drove the city limit drenched    
windows closed.  
Waiting patiently at the red lights    
swearing, at myself.  
How did I    
miss the off ramp, earlier?    
   
As I came out of the city    
reaching Houghton    
I looked at big houses    
and mansions    
in wonder.  
   
Who needs such a large house    
and what exactly is it for?    
Beat in my head    
in rythmic aliance to the    
tunes on the morning    
radio show.    
   
The weather lady    
discussing the heat.  
The lack of air cons in pick ups.  
The 34 degrees.  
The sweat that rained from pores.  
The soaking wet back of my shirt.  
The need to breath.  
   
(All simultaneously)  
   
Helped my hand    
wind the window down;  
nothing    
more than an inch.    
   
Took a long deep breath of air.    
   
I felt  
the steel  
 
against the side of my head.  
   
Heard that    
horror voice    
roar...    
   
 
"Hello"    
   
   
   
   
-x-