for mine

i give lollipops to children
in return for a couple of their teardrops;
for mine have gone dry
and i need time to shed
and i need time to release
myself

i count the number of laughter i hear
as i sit myself upon
a park bench - dark green
like my glass.bottle.heart that could easily shatter
and
listen to how happiness
can blend everyone's voices
together
excluding mine;
for mine is weeping

i correct my answer to an equation
by writing it out carefully in the skies;
the number of heartbreaks felt
when A and B divide themselves by
B and A
can only equal 1

the answer '2' had never been possible
despite my believing it was;
for i was never good at math

i rage nightmares away from my head
and put them in little envelopes of love letters
and photographs of joy;
all of which
i would burn away tonight
to scorch eternal memory
in my mind
and his

i study the traces of
what used to be;
his hair, his body and
the hands that once never left mine,
and try to remember the look on his eyes
the last time i saw them
as the large lid clams shut
and i say nothing but
my last words
to love;
for mine was gone