Where do I belong?

What am I doing?
How can I let myself do this?
I have lost my body to the world,
My heart to a man I do not deserve.
Am I really like my sister?
I need to know what to do,
I need someone to guide me.
Maybe I am cursed,
Or do I need to just close my eyes and wait.
My family doesn't understand me,
My friends aren't real.
I am alone in a world where I do not belong,
I should have faded with time.
Again I am here waiting to live out yet another life.
How many must I go through?
How many times must I suffer,
How many times must I cry?
I know now that this world is not mine,
I know for a fact now that I will never end.
My life is meant for the amusement of the god's.