deepundergroundpoetry.com
The damned demons are back again
The damned demons are back again
with bullying bullhorn megaphones
inspiration laced with pain
While sultry succubi scream around
tugging me for amorous attention
promising pleasure pound for pound
As genies cast in furious zeal
fresh mirage visions of new wonder
if I will only accept their deal
Meanwhile fairies harass anew
nimbly typing prose and verse of world bending
on screens layered thick as stew
Concisely undead clack around
with those earworm notes and phrases
in incessant ceaseless sound
And wraiths return to resume the haunt
bringing unending energy and thought
that I never did seek or want
So while others sleep and I should rest
these start to creep to cause me unrest
They are all blasted back again
To further drive me insane
with bullying bullhorn megaphones
inspiration laced with pain
While sultry succubi scream around
tugging me for amorous attention
promising pleasure pound for pound
As genies cast in furious zeal
fresh mirage visions of new wonder
if I will only accept their deal
Meanwhile fairies harass anew
nimbly typing prose and verse of world bending
on screens layered thick as stew
Concisely undead clack around
with those earworm notes and phrases
in incessant ceaseless sound
And wraiths return to resume the haunt
bringing unending energy and thought
that I never did seek or want
So while others sleep and I should rest
these start to creep to cause me unrest
They are all blasted back again
To further drive me insane
Published 24th Sep 2016
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likes 6
reading list entries 1
comments 15
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The author encourages honest critique.
Lord Viddax I fear I may be one of the plaguing daemon you speak of..
I feel you..
love Brenda
I feel you..
love Brenda
25th Sep 2016 00:01am
You and a few more are more akin to Hellenic Heroes flexing your poetic muscles and powers with ease, plaguing me with other glories and grand deeds. It is always nice to have a comment from you.
24th Sep 2016 9:58am
Damn!
Vidax this, that you speak of here. It is exactly how I have been feeling; I'll like this piece twice metaphorically for that reason.
My word the ending is just breathtaking...
"So while others sleep and I should rest
these start to creep to cause me unrest
They are all blasted back again
To further drive me insane"
A memorable image to end it!
Thank you for this.
Al
Vidax this, that you speak of here. It is exactly how I have been feeling; I'll like this piece twice metaphorically for that reason.
My word the ending is just breathtaking...
"So while others sleep and I should rest
these start to creep to cause me unrest
They are all blasted back again
To further drive me insane"
A memorable image to end it!
Thank you for this.
Al
25th Sep 2016 00:04am
I wasn't sure the AA,BB ending suited the ABA style of the main body, thanks for saying otherwise. The actual words and phrases are bit more Christianised (if that's a phrase) than I would normally use, but seems it is good for expressing the just harassed feeling.
25th Sep 2016 7:28am
25th Sep 2016 10:20pm
This poem, in its present form, is an assault on the eyes. I'd suggest separating it into verses where lines begin with a capital letter, indicating that a line break should have gone there anyway. On the positive side, the daemonic imagery was strong and mixed well with the depiction of the tormented self, to create quite an intense poem about the storms of the mind. Thank you for the read. - Jack xxx
26th Sep 2016 00:46am
Like most of my poems this was a spurge of thought and inspiration (must be a technical term for that), though with some editing to fit to syllable count and rhyme. I think I might stick with the somewhat cluttered and confusing assault-on-the-eyes current version as it fits the harassed feeling well. A verse format might seem to clear cut and clinical to me, though I welcome the contrary and reasons why to change from you Jack.
Glad you appreciated the demonic imagery, not imagery I usually use.
Glad you appreciated the demonic imagery, not imagery I usually use.
Anonymous
12th Oct 2016 11:45pm
<< post removed >>
13th Oct 2016 00:46am
That is hopefully a good sign of the use of rhyme and of the flow of the poem. Although I repeatedly use rhyme I always try to avoid it feeling like a clunky thing that stands out.
Anonymous
13th Oct 2016 5:01pm
<< post removed >>
13th Oct 2016 11:41pm
I have a similar experience with rhyme, though I use it more as a security blanket and sure style of comfort. A rarer use can sometimes make it more precious and refined.
25th Jan 2017 00:16am
i love this and im so thankful for my demons because they make me who i am and make me appreciate my joy
25th Jan 2017 00:50am
Sometimes it is better to make the demons work with you than banish them entirely, thanks for the comment.
8th Oct 2020 2:40am
10th Oct 2020 10:46pm
Irony? Perhaps if you are able to make as the Muses demand then it is not irony. Yet for me such damnable demons show me things I have not the power to craft.
