deepundergroundpoetry.com
Pasadena Woman
She wears the night when she steps out
Her hair alive with city lights
Signals change from red to blue
Bloodshed on the avenue
She follows alleys and backstreets
My shadow just one step ahead
Cornered at the cul-de-sac
Fearing fire and reprisal
I see her eyes are burning
Tears sizzling when they hit the street
She ignores the first responders
And there's hell to pay when we get home.
Suggested by The Doors' "L.A. Woman"
Art by Jayan
Her hair alive with city lights
Signals change from red to blue
Bloodshed on the avenue
She follows alleys and backstreets
My shadow just one step ahead
Cornered at the cul-de-sac
Fearing fire and reprisal
I see her eyes are burning
Tears sizzling when they hit the street
She ignores the first responders
And there's hell to pay when we get home.
Suggested by The Doors' "L.A. Woman"
Art by Jayan
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 11
reading list entries 1
comments 24
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Re. Pasadena Woman
23rd Sep 2016 9:33pm
Re: Re. Pasadena Woman
25th Sep 2016 10:00pm
Re. Pasadena Woman
Anonymous
23rd Sep 2016 9:35pm
Sir Fly, and first off ... *wow* ... secondly, I`m going to interpret this piece as an alternate metaphor, meaning, the sufferings of society with woman representing wrath & rage & vengeance to what and whomever ... we need change but not through the diggings of one`s pockets ... If Morrison were alive, he`d be proud ... Excellent ink ... love to you ... ~Devlin.
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Re: Re. Pasadena Woman
25th Sep 2016 10:10pm
Thanks Devlin! The woman here is a figure of wrath, but she's exhilarated by the chase. Your interpretation is more ambitious than what I was aiming for. I was trying to get some of the song's feel with few personal touches, like "blood on the boulevard" from my driving days. But your thoughts are more than valid and fascinating. And thanks for that Morrison mention. You made my day!
Anonymous
- Edited 9th Jun 2019 1:47pm
23rd Sep 2016 10:38pm
<< post removed >>
Re. Pasadena Woman
23rd Sep 2016 11:27pm
Crow, I love the frenetic pace of this piece. This passage is beautiful:
"She wears the night when she steps out
Her hair alive with city lights "
Bravo Sir Crow!
"She wears the night when she steps out
Her hair alive with city lights "
Bravo Sir Crow!
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Re: Re. Pasadena Woman
25th Sep 2016 10:13pm
Thanks Gahdess! Frenetic? No doubt about it. I've always had a problem keeping my foot off the gas.,,
Re. Pasadena Woman
24th Sep 2016 00:18am
This is beautifully vibrant and full of life - and I like the Doors - yay!
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Re: Re. Pasadena Woman
25th Sep 2016 10:20pm
Thanks SweetOblivion. I love The Doors. They could do a epic downer like "The End" or something a bit more playful, like "20th Century Fox." "The sidewalk crouches at her feet / Like a dog that begs for something sweet" is one of my fave lyrics, demented as I am.
Re. Pasadena Woman
24th Sep 2016 2:17am
Re: Re. Pasadena Woman
25th Sep 2016 10:23pm
Thanks Grace! That's part of the fun, reading these through another's eyes. There's usually something I've missed...
Re. Pasadena Woman
24th Sep 2016 7:04am
Re: Re. Pasadena Woman
25th Sep 2016 10:28pm
Thanks Keith. Maybe I'll move on to a different city and woman, still alert for burning eyes.
Re. Pasadena Woman
24th Sep 2016 12:51pm
This was Fabulous Crowfly...i really enjoyed
Fav lines:
"I see her eyes are burning
Tears sizzling when they hit the street "
Fav lines:
"I see her eyes are burning
Tears sizzling when they hit the street "
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Re: Re. Pasadena Woman
25th Sep 2016 10:29pm
Her hair was burning in the Doors song, but I took a liberty. Thank you poeticDesire!
Re. Pasadena Woman
24th Sep 2016 3:26pm
Here's hoping that the notion of 'hell to pay' leads you towards heavenly bliss !
Always... a gorgeous ensemble of words to read. 🎈🌻💙🌞
Always... a gorgeous ensemble of words to read. 🎈🌻💙🌞
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Re: Re. Pasadena Woman
25th Sep 2016 10:40pm
Re. Pasadena Woman
Anonymous
24th Sep 2016 5:50pm
Love the depth of imagery in this dark write.
Doing it, only as you can...my friend.
Well done 💓
Doing it, only as you can...my friend.
Well done 💓
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Re: Re. Pasadena Woman
25th Sep 2016 10:46pm
Thank you Heart. I try to keep it dark and deep. There's miles to go before I sleep....
Re. Pasadena Woman
24th Sep 2016 11:31pm
Crow, what I love about your work is that your descriptive writing ability is so potent...it makes the reader feel like they're part of the ink. I could see this 'Pasadena woman' vividly. Wonderful pen strokes....
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Re: Re. Pasadena Woman
25th Sep 2016 10:53pm
I just hope it makes sense on some level. This one might be a brain twister, but ideally it's a fun little ride, messing with reality along the way.
Re. Pasadena Woman
28th Sep 2016 7:55am
clearly a woman
not in danger of
disappearing into
cracks in the sidewalk...
... a compelling read, sir crow
xo
not in danger of
disappearing into
cracks in the sidewalk...
... a compelling read, sir crow
xo
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Re. Pasadena Woman
2nd Oct 2016 8:10am
Great piece of ink!
Love The Doors and you did Jim honour :-)
I felt some influence of Light My Fire as well...
Love The Doors and you did Jim honour :-)
I felt some influence of Light My Fire as well...
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