Humble Rant

I don't know how to put this feeling into words
truth be told, I'm not even sure if I'm being heard
but here I'll go, scribbling down words
the representation of the trash cluttering my mind
please turn it to the past
all I can do is hold on to you to
keep me from surrendering to these demons
the anxiety inside of me is building
and there you'll go, Father
drifting off farther
leaving my heart while I cry a bit harder
leaving me with these foolish beings that try to understand
try to reprimand
undermine, downsize
the deserts in my mind
the phrase "it's just a phase"
makes me as lonely as ever
damn, well, why, why am I surpsied?
of course, only you and I could comprehend and live through these fires and survive
this darkness doesn't seem to want to leave
clinging to my frame and forcing me to wear long sleeves
suffocating, suffocating
or is it just me fabricating
a feeling so grim
just for me to feel again?
to be honest
I don't know if these feelings are real
I highly doubt I'm ever going to heal
what scares me the most
is I've grown used to these thoughts
and grown accustomed to the dark
willing and pleading to be its host
fortunately
I know you're always there
constantly reminding me not to be scared
please know
I'll keep from letting go
for you, my friend
here I give the reigns to my end