Remorselessness just a line away

In this altered state of conciousness my conscience is receding  
arduously enveloped, but..  
nonetheless it's leaving    
so I pull back my chair    
and    
stare at the ceiling    
where the glare from a bare bulb  
highlights the evening    
 
my blood still seething    
   
so what the hell    
I take the pills  
stick another 3 in    
     
My heart beats  
   
last week's rhythm    
   
a grass creep whose smarts keep my mask in a grimace    
I'd ask your forgiveness    
   
but it burst from your breast    
when the blast tore your chest  
 
to splinters    
   
Leaves me depressed as winter    
     
I've read the scriptures    
my actions less than judicious    
if you'd respected my wishes    
we'd still be in business    
stead your a stain on the clean list    
name on your wife's lips    
a face in my dreams  
that's in place like a fiends    
in this case it seems  
so encased in my being  
its my fate to be seeing it    
   
fuck that    
 
drowsy downers can deal with it    
     
A black hole  
seen through a dollar note  
sucks a line from the cosmos    
   
Supermassive black depression lessens  
pleasant    
acquiescence beckons    
In less than two seconds    
my entire presence    
reckons with heaven    
and deals in acceptance