a life in the day or a day in the life or... somewhat

 

So, life takes its pounds,
Makes its rounds


Spending time
In the emergency room
Hospitals
Doctors' offices
Knowing something's wrong


Not knowing


How to articulate best
Articulate most accurately
Exactly articulate, convey expressly, concisely, adequately, immediately and with immediacy
What's going on with me
So action will be taken to


Alleviate
The
Pain


Relentless, ruthless, cloying, omnipresent
Excruciate
More than usual
Some days crawling
To the bathroom
And back
to the bed
Trapped
In my mind
And others' stereotypicked expectations


A light wandering, flickering, wavering gifted by a kind ER doctor
Referred pain
Potential new areas of research
Aid from sources unexpected, downright odd
Miraculous PA


Diagnosis?


Mayhap…so much so wrong


Then,


Walls


And yet more again


Tired so tired of fighting this fight


Body relentlessly besieged - no meds – no meds – no meds


NO MEDS?!


But, everyone says surgery and that the pain is typically terrible and I began with the pain…I don't understand…I hurt
I hurt I hurti hurt I hurti hurt I hurthurti hurt why can't you see and help me?


Must wait
If acute, seek ER


But, soon surgery scheduled – why not manage pain till then?
Confused


Myriad thoughts


Arguments raised
Ideologies
Medicaid patients using ERs as clinics or diagnostic tools
Medicaid patients drug-seeking scavengers
Medicaid patients…Medicaid patients…Medicaid patients…


Awakening night upon night
Nights informed by pain
Days informed by pain.
No referral to surgeon
Finally, daughter, love, friends, counselor persuade
This is real and you must go
Body has its say too


Daughter says mother must take care first before caring for cubs – look at laws of wild
Without mother, babies helpless…
My son, just seven…


I go


ER – same day enter, surgery, admit stay, road begun, much to do, but pain cessation at last, too many pain meds now.


Go figure...


This weekend, I checked my messages, I had one giving me the referral for an appointment with a surgeon Monday morning.


I called the surgeon's office early Monday thanking them and explaining I'd had the surgery the preceding Thursday as an ER admittance.


The person with whom I spoke was kind and understanding, cancelling my appointment and assuring me all was fine.


Go figure...