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innocence lost
in our infancy
we wove daisy chain halos
kissed with our dreams
innocence ruled the day
the nights spent chasing stars
the dawn drew breath
exhaling brand new supernovas
the sun revolved around us
we skipped sidewalks
careful not to step on the cracks
giggling madly at the moon
we told scary stories
the boogey man hiding in our closet
~
today the halos we wear
are heavy with regret
our lungs choked with ash
smoking anxiety away
sleep puts out the day
cracks in our sanity
craters we can't avoid
and our monsters
don't stay hidden in the closet
they lie next to us at night
Written by
crimsin
(Unveiling)
Published 15th Jul 2016
| Edited 16th Jul 2016
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 28
reading list entries 6
comments 42
reads 1650
Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
Re. innocence lost
15th Jul 2016 6:56pm
Powerful and much needed sentiment
I almost wrote something similar myself
Great ending line
Well done Brenda
xx
I almost wrote something similar myself
Great ending line
Well done Brenda
xx
1
Re: Re. innocence lost
16th Jul 2016 00:09am
Re. innocence lost
15th Jul 2016 7:21pm
I can't tell you how deeply I relate to this, Crim.
"and our monsters
don't stay hidden in the closet
they lie next to us at night"
Exactly how I felt when I laid me down to sleep last night. I'm hoping my muse will take their place next time. Sweet dreams Lady Crim.
"and our monsters
don't stay hidden in the closet
they lie next to us at night"
Exactly how I felt when I laid me down to sleep last night. I'm hoping my muse will take their place next time. Sweet dreams Lady Crim.
1
Re: Re. innocence lost
16th Jul 2016 00:10am
thank you Sir Crow lets hope our muse always visits us at night instead monsters..
love Crim
love Crim
Re. innocence lost
extraordinary verses, Crim;
the light that dimmed too soon,
the darkness that we bear...
the light that dimmed too soon,
the darkness that we bear...
1
Re: Re. innocence lost
16th Jul 2016 00:11am
Re. innocence lost
Anonymous
15th Jul 2016 8:33pm
innocence easily lost...
though still we can hold
our monsters exhaust
so we break and we fold
beauty exist
should we chose to except
Its presence persist
So choose to reflect
<3 <3 dkruie
though still we can hold
our monsters exhaust
so we break and we fold
beauty exist
should we chose to except
Its presence persist
So choose to reflect
<3 <3 dkruie
1
Re: Re. innocence lost
16th Jul 2016 00:12am
Re. innocence lost
Anonymous
15th Jul 2016 10:09pm
Crim,
I agree, very relatable! I could hear Neil Diamond thanking the lord for the night in the background :-)
And thanks for explaining why my bed is so crowded!
Enjoyed!!!
tornado
I agree, very relatable! I could hear Neil Diamond thanking the lord for the night in the background :-)
And thanks for explaining why my bed is so crowded!
Enjoyed!!!
tornado
1
Re: Re. innocence lost
16th Jul 2016 00:13am
Re. innocence lost
15th Jul 2016 10:20pm
Re: Re. innocence lost
16th Jul 2016 00:13am
Anonymous
- Edited 27th Dec 2019 12:45pm
15th Jul 2016 10:41pm
<< post removed >>
Re: Re. innocence lost
16th Jul 2016 00:14am
Re. innocence lost
16th Jul 2016 1:09am
Re: Re. innocence lost
16th Jul 2016 2:54am
Re. innocence lost
16th Jul 2016 3:06am
Re: Re. innocence lost
Re. innocence lost
Anonymous
16th Jul 2016 3:57am
Ill catch this on otherside my
ladyloves.
Damn it and I adore you so.
..I truly do.
-
ladyloves.
Damn it and I adore you so.
..I truly do.
-
2
Re: Re. innocence lost
16th Jul 2016 11:27am
Re. innocence lost
Anonymous
- Edited 16th Jul 2016 5:34am
16th Jul 2016 5:29am
Wow Crim.....you brought back memories then stunningly brought reality back into what our lives are now......brilliant crafted write......RL for me......purple luv & hugs xo :)
1
Re: Re. innocence lost
16th Jul 2016 11:28am
thank you beautiful Flower though I hope your reality is full of purple love always :)
love Crim
love Crim
Re. innocence lost
16th Jul 2016 9:10am
Re: Re. innocence lost
16th Jul 2016 11:28am
Re. innocence lost
16th Jul 2016 3:36pm
ah, the philosophical crim, love it, u can't hide your light...new form? scrumptious as always crim...
1
Re: Re. innocence lost
16th Jul 2016 10:31pm
thank you Dean good eye yeah I've been praying a lot more I must confess..
plus I try to switch things up..
love Crim
plus I try to switch things up..
love Crim
Re. innocence lost
16th Jul 2016 5:02pm
Re: Re. innocence lost
16th Jul 2016 10:31pm
Re. innocence lost
16th Jul 2016 5:25pm
really powerful and punchy, an excellent expose of the loss of innocence comparing past and present - sad really :-(
great stuff :-)
great stuff :-)
1
Re: Re. innocence lost
16th Jul 2016 10:32pm
Re. innocence lost
Anonymous
18th Jul 2016 00:27am
Brilliantly composed, Brenda.. and so true is this story.. born in innocence, and draped in reality.. is this crazy life.. live and learn.. the pavement unforgiving, and so are fabled kings.. who needs god, we live in this hell daily.. sorry got on a rant.. fucking loved this.. love you..
Dave
Dave
1
Re: Re. innocence lost
21st Jul 2016 1:42am
Re. innocence lost
This is probably my favorite from you. Not many poems get me choked up, but this one hit my heart.
Well done 😁
Well done 😁
1
Re: Re. innocence lost
21st Jul 2016 1:42am
Re. innocence lost
18th Jul 2016 8:57am
this one squeezed at my heart
a little too relatable
but darn it, your pen is amazing
xoxox
a little too relatable
but darn it, your pen is amazing
xoxox
1
Re: Re. innocence lost
21st Jul 2016 1:43am
thank you beautiful Katja made me smile wide with your comment I admire you so much lovely one..
love Brenda
love Brenda
Re. innocence lost
19th Jul 2016 1:44pm
I have to agree, dear katja,
because that was the first
thing, which fell like a heavy
blanket over me.. as your
words pinched and clawed
at my heart and soul..
I know and I know this too
well, wooo mind boggling
-Howlings
because that was the first
thing, which fell like a heavy
blanket over me.. as your
words pinched and clawed
at my heart and soul..
I know and I know this too
well, wooo mind boggling
-Howlings
1
Re: Re. innocence lost
21st Jul 2016 1:44am
thank you lovely Howlings for feeling this write and showing me love on it..
love Crim
love Crim
Re. innocence lost
20th Jul 2016 2:57am
My dearest Brenda,
Such a powerful write. You pull the reader in by shared childhood thoughts and imaginary. Then take those to the level of reality as seem through the eyes of an adult. I applaud you lovely master of words.
Keith
Such a powerful write. You pull the reader in by shared childhood thoughts and imaginary. Then take those to the level of reality as seem through the eyes of an adult. I applaud you lovely master of words.
Keith
1
Re: Re. innocence lost
21st Jul 2016 1:45am
Re. innocence lost
29th Jul 2016 5:22am
Re: Re. innocence lost
30th Jul 2016 12:24pm