Half Way up a Rhubarb Tree

 
Half way up a rhubarb tree in the mountains of Brazil
I met a gorilla in sunglasses who said he was trying to chill
I said my word gorilla sir you’re a long, long way from home
He said ‘Yes sir I am on holiday piss off, leave me alone’

So I wandered down the mountain side and found a lava lake
I dipped my tootsies into it boy what a big mistake
For it was scorching hot you see and ruined my painted nails
And so I sang a lullaby to a school of flying whales

Though I did my best to soothe them they instantly took fright
And soared off up a waterfall to a nearby elf’s delight
His missus wasn't happy though, declared she was getting thinner
‘I had my eye on a pair of those for me and the old man’s dinner’

Next I met a dragon whose fire had gone out
When I lent him some matches he gave a grateful shout
He flew me up into the sky where we had such fun
We were shot down by a bully with a water pistol gun

The dragon chased the bully boy and caught him in a cave
He scorched him to a cinder a saying ‘a lesson for you knave’
When I awoke I was sat astride a polka dot pink pony
My mate was standing next to me ‘More magic mushrooms Tony?’