THE LOTTERY

I can't believe I have you
This is a big deal for me...
(That's me, saying this right now),
And you a few months ago:
"I'm so glad I got you"
and a few weeks ago:
"This is how I know I can't be without you"
and
"I'm so lucky to be with someone like you"
Someone like me...

You mean because I'm smart and creative and an angry independent feminist?
But angry feminist might just be a smokescreen.
I'm someone who hasn't been happy most of my life
who's been mortally scared actually
you have been my very first resting place
I had the power but maybe you have it now, though you don't know it
because you don't even know what a big deal you are to me
to a shy fat girl
being desired so arduously
and you have no idea that I'm not the pinnacle of beauty
that I'm not the sexiest woman alive
you think you've won the lottery!
You think men are lining up!

But they're not. I mean there are some but...
You ask for stories of guys hollering at me
it turns you on to think of other guys wanting your woman,
but I run out
there aren't THAT many of those stories to tell, babe!

I love that you think this though
that you think you've won the freakin lottery with me
and maybe you have
even though not that many people bought tickets
still, maybe you have
maybe we both have.