Beck

His fingers smelled like nicotine
I fucked him when I was drunk
Moving on top of him
It's in slow motion in my head
Because I was clumsy on scotch
And a fifth of rum  
And because he was lazily
Grazing my thighs
With half-hearted nails
It really was pathetic
But I don't regret how he bit me
So hard that it felt good
I do regret that I had to tell him to
I said  
I want you to do it as hard as you can
And he cursed  
Jesus fucking Christ
And breathed
And held my arms
And thrusted so hard
That when I sit down now I wince
And the bruises on my hips remind me
That I was fucking stupid
And the only reason I did it
Was because I needed to feel used
I needed to please
And to be nothing

I get drunk a lot