Literally Just Ignore This

He doesn't exist around me

But I can taste the coffee on his tongue
The slow caress of his lips are sticky with it
His eyes slit with morning dew
His cheek is rough

Opaque, married and oblivious

His fingers dance without conviction
Along my bones
I hear their hollow echo in my head
Because he isn't here
He hasn't been for a year  

He's twenty miles away
Probably in his office
Or maybe at his home
Sitting in his kitchen
Or driving his daughter to practice

I don't know

But he's here too

Especially when I've just woken up
When I brew my coffee
I imagine him behind me
Drawing fingers through my hair
Bending to kiss behind my ear

Aching with me
Against the counter
Slow, because there's nothing but time

I stand alone on tile
Wondering what he's thinking
What he's wearing today
If he still cares at all