Bender Pt 1

Wandering the halls of an old motel at 2 a.m.
like a zombie
as rain pours in from holes in the roof and puddles form on the old, stained carpet.

My heart is pounding,
my stomach feels like it's inside out,
and my entire body is shaking.
Eyes are blood shot and glassy.

On the way here, I downed a bottle of vodka all by myself.
And before that I went to a party and grabbed two handfuls of pills from a bucket with a smiley face on it.
Hadn't slept in 4 days.

A man comes  out from one of the rooms on the first floor
and tells me he's got just what I need.
I give him whatever is left in my wallet in turn for temporary salvation.

Three thick, white lines on a mirror before me.
I smile as I plug one nostril and get to work.

Hours later after god knows what,
I awake literally in a puddle of my own vomit somewhere in the old building with my savior no where in sight.
I can't move or feel my limbs.
My heart beat is barely there and my fingernails are blue.

I smile,
my dry, chapped lips splitting open and bleeding.
"It's finally over" I sigh as I close my eyes.