Final Goodbye

I never wanted things to end
I was always fighting for you.. for me
For all the adventures we planned to create..
but then you left..
everyday got harder and harder to get through
kept picking up a knife to carve away the pain
set into a blissful numbness
even as your words cut into me
tearing me down...
all i ever did was love you..
no matter what you said...
i still loved you
even as the days got worse
even as the truth of the horrors id see
was being bottled up deep inside me...
I kept trying for you.. for me..
for all the plans we'd thought wed keep...
i was just a coward
Never cutting deep enough
always giving into the pain
but tonight
as i feel nothing but pain...
i look down at the empty bottles laying before me
with my favorite knife sitting in my hands
building up the courage
trying to push you away
You won't need to hear this
as the blood spills to the ground..
as everything starts to fade
with you states away
just a few things i need to say
just know that i always loved you..
no matter how hard it got..
i tried.. always tried for you
maybe if it matters to you
just remember.. i loved you
i love you even as i drift away
trying to making things easier for you
no need to try and see
just focus on them
maybe now, i wont feel this pain
ill be right where i need to be..
on my throne
with my fire before me
as i say my final good bye...