deepundergroundpoetry.com
Betrayed Myself
Betrayed Myself
"Look at this! Look what you have done
Well, no turning back now
Your only choice is keep composed
You have to carry on!"
Insanity seeps into me
it slowly takes control
While raging thoughts of causing pain
become so Crystal clear
"Watch your temper, mind your tongue,
keeping steady as she goes"
I'm betrayed by my own conscience
With things I do not want to hear
I yearn for numbness. Solitude.
To give my soul a break
Freedom from the self control
Release these damn restraints
Take all the rage I have inside
and fury straight from hell
unfetter every violent thought
with nary a constraint
"I place the blame on you, ya' know
and each of them as well"
My world reduced to shards of glass
My life a living hell
If this is what my fate would be
And know I'd lose what mattered most
I never would have seen it through
I'd rather died than to have failed
"You share the blame in all of this,
how quickly you've forgotten...
You made this bed with thorns and nails
But now want silk and cotton!?"
I simply wish to fade away
I want to disappear
But I must face that I betrayed
The woman in the mirror
"Look at this! Look what you have done
Well, no turning back now
Your only choice is keep composed
You have to carry on!"
Insanity seeps into me
it slowly takes control
While raging thoughts of causing pain
become so Crystal clear
"Watch your temper, mind your tongue,
keeping steady as she goes"
I'm betrayed by my own conscience
With things I do not want to hear
I yearn for numbness. Solitude.
To give my soul a break
Freedom from the self control
Release these damn restraints
Take all the rage I have inside
and fury straight from hell
unfetter every violent thought
with nary a constraint
"I place the blame on you, ya' know
and each of them as well"
My world reduced to shards of glass
My life a living hell
If this is what my fate would be
And know I'd lose what mattered most
I never would have seen it through
I'd rather died than to have failed
"You share the blame in all of this,
how quickly you've forgotten...
You made this bed with thorns and nails
But now want silk and cotton!?"
I simply wish to fade away
I want to disappear
But I must face that I betrayed
The woman in the mirror
Published 23rd Apr 2016
| Edited 23rd Dec 2017
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
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comments 4
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Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
24th Apr 2016 1:32am
Hullo
...jaysus, bad hair day would be the understatement of the century
there's a couple of things spring to mind re : constructive
first, I wonder if you'd be open to the idea of putting the first couple of lines into italics, as a kind of intro, from why is it you to break
also, the body could use a couple of line breaks. break it up a bit, it'll give lines more clarity and make it easier to read
the poem itself, the words and lines seem pretty good in fairnes, and you've a consistent voice throughout. doesn't read like a pity poem, it reads honest and raw
wall done for that
best wishes, shine on
...jaysus, bad hair day would be the understatement of the century
there's a couple of things spring to mind re : constructive
first, I wonder if you'd be open to the idea of putting the first couple of lines into italics, as a kind of intro, from why is it you to break
also, the body could use a couple of line breaks. break it up a bit, it'll give lines more clarity and make it easier to read
the poem itself, the words and lines seem pretty good in fairnes, and you've a consistent voice throughout. doesn't read like a pity poem, it reads honest and raw
wall done for that
best wishes, shine on
24th Sep 2016 4:56pm
8th Dec 2017 4:29pm
(Craic-in-the-Box) come have a look at the revised version and tell me what you think
9th Dec 2017 10:32am
Hullo
yeah, line breaks make it a much easier read. they're an interesting tool to play with. see by your most recent post you're playing with them. I'll take this over there later
*hat tip*
yeah, line breaks make it a much easier read. they're an interesting tool to play with. see by your most recent post you're playing with them. I'll take this over there later
*hat tip*
