the best way to kill your self is suicide

I wake up and the world feels numb
the days feel longer with each breath in my lung
the first thing I think about each morning
is I would be better off dead
buried forgotten and gone
from this life
this illusion I'll be loved
I sit on the edge of my bed
and stare at the night stand thinking
just like every morning praying
I wish I was happy
I wish these things didn't happen to me
then maybe someone would like me
love me
maybe just care enough not to hurt me
I don't know tho
everyone I loved is dead
and everyone that said they loved me
 left me
so I sit there thinking
just like every morning
should I grab that gun
on the night stand and end my suffering
it's always loaded
cocked and explosive
I flick the safety off
just like every morning
and I put it  to my head hoping
that it will just go off without any warning
releasing me from feeling
about everyone and everything
you call me a demon
but just a human being
that hurts and bleeds
trust me
I'll show the scars that riddle my wrist
mind and body
I fucking scream
god please take me !
I hate my life
why did you create my life
someone please take me
every time I get in a fight
I pray the sight of a knife
a pistol
 or something that could kill me
but nobody has the nuts to try and kill me
and if they step up
and try
well I'm still living
and people are missing
the time before they met me
I've even asked people to kill me
they thought I was crazy
put a hit on your own head
kid your fucking looney
where's the wire
are you a cop
get the fuck away from me
fine asshole I'll live in misery
but I'm not a cop
and I hate them around me
so I sit on my bed
with my pistol to my head
praying for death to take me
every morning
suicide is my first feeling
one day soon I hope he visits me
death my friend
 the one that hides from me
please
come for me
do it quickly
since birth I've been suffering
at least let me go out in peace


https://www.facebook.com/Hellbound-clandestine-600217780133379/