At Arms Length

I've held the past too close
too long
I've held the memory of you
at arms length
but always in reach
and each night
at the end of the day
when I am tired
and have only a little strength
my elbow bends in
and you come closer
closer
until you are pressed
against
and I can feel
your breath
breathe into me.
Please
stay
longer tonight
Linger in my dreams
like the first night
you held me
before you died.

I tighten my eyes
hoping that the image of you
will be stained
into my sight
and your silhouette
will be the filter
like putting a translucent
picture of you
into my contact lens
so once again
I can share sights and stories
with you always in them.

It still is agony
When the last words you said
"I'll meet you at home."
still greet me every time
I walk through the threshold
But you are always at arms length
and I seem to be getting tired
earlier and earlier each day
so my elbow gives way
past and present intertwine
as you embrace