deepundergroundpoetry.com
The Cruelty of Duality.....for a bipolar rollercoaster competition... represents my worst...today i have joy and love.
I live love emote and relate
In maddening roller coaster phases
My mind of extremes.. emotional haze
Great swell induced rage and irrationnelles
Smack my true nature down like a bitch
Shackle me to hateful ugly paranoia
Leave thoughts racing at suicide pitch
I wear kaleidoscopic shades
Disturbing frame of reference
Disolve correct sight....
They (shades) flip flop what should be
Make black what is quite white
Make wrong what is quite right
Turn the joy shine of day
Into a terror darkness blanket of night
The blanket never quite covers cold feet that ache and need warmth
I run and run far and fast in mind...
No matter my pull and tug and fight
Wrestle a madmans grip for a night..
I have wrestled a lifetime
It is crazy making and ï am tired
Days no sleep causes blurr of sight
An insomniacs backwards
In desperate need of the vertical
Please God give balance and sit me upright.......
In maddening roller coaster phases
My mind of extremes.. emotional haze
Great swell induced rage and irrationnelles
Smack my true nature down like a bitch
Shackle me to hateful ugly paranoia
Leave thoughts racing at suicide pitch
I wear kaleidoscopic shades
Disturbing frame of reference
Disolve correct sight....
They (shades) flip flop what should be
Make black what is quite white
Make wrong what is quite right
Turn the joy shine of day
Into a terror darkness blanket of night
The blanket never quite covers cold feet that ache and need warmth
I run and run far and fast in mind...
No matter my pull and tug and fight
Wrestle a madmans grip for a night..
I have wrestled a lifetime
It is crazy making and ï am tired
Days no sleep causes blurr of sight
An insomniacs backwards
In desperate need of the vertical
Please God give balance and sit me upright.......
Published 3rd Feb 2016
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likes 11
reading list entries 3
comments 9
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3rd Feb 2016 4:34pm
Great Jen, loved the word choice and imagery throughout, very emotional to.
3rd Feb 2016 4:53pm
3rd Feb 2016 6:37pm
it sounds like a living nightmare Jen I hope it's not autobiographical although it comes across that way. Great use of words as usual my educated lady.
At the moment Tinnitus is making my life hell but It'll pass.
At the moment Tinnitus is making my life hell but It'll pass.
3rd Feb 2016 9:43pm
Fantastic Jen. It takes you through the madness of that duality we share when heads are not clear and hearts are torn. Bravo.
Loved it and love you,
John
Loved it and love you,
John
4th Feb 2016 3:09am
4th Feb 2016 10:29pm
Hate to see you suffer cruelty Jen, but I loved this and can relate.
"I have wrestled a lifetime
It is crazy making and ï am tired
Days no sleep causes blurr of sight
An insomniacs backwards
In desperate need of the vertical
Please God give balance and sit me upright......."
It's an ongoing battle that can be exhausting, and you catch the feeling so well it almost breaks my heart. I'm just glad you've found joy and love. You deserve it on a daily basis.
"I have wrestled a lifetime
It is crazy making and ï am tired
Days no sleep causes blurr of sight
An insomniacs backwards
In desperate need of the vertical
Please God give balance and sit me upright......."
It's an ongoing battle that can be exhausting, and you catch the feeling so well it almost breaks my heart. I'm just glad you've found joy and love. You deserve it on a daily basis.
9th Feb 2016 8:40am
16th Feb 2016 7:52pm
16th Feb 2016 9:17pm
When i allowed myself to get manic enough...or recently triggered by a round of sterpiods then another allergy...kind of a perfect storm this winter...but at times i have allowed myself to really wind up.i have had complete psychotic breaks. they are awful...usually very noticed..but can manifest in different ways, and i often lose time...days of my life i have no recollection of...like waking up right now and the last thing you remembered was 3 oclock saturday...and i have done a string of insane things in that time. And am so paranoid when really manic, that i erase my tracks....during...so i wake up..have made calls texts fb posts!! those are fun...DU posts while under psychosis...and have hid it all from myself....like a black out drunk...very similar actually...
But it is extremely rare. onnce a year...maybe.
Thank you darlin
But it is extremely rare. onnce a year...maybe.
Thank you darlin
