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Hero
He removes ache
Combats the night
when the will to fight
Has left and what remains
Is not quite worth
The sun again
He takes me by the hand
And moves me on
Removes urge
To mourn the moon
He will not endulge
My scream
That wants to escape
He says
And turns his head
But not away
I will not trade fury
And some cold dark place
For the terrible
Loss of his sweet face
So i speak in polite whisper
And exist for a moment
As the reflection
In his eye
He does not mind
He says
To hold me
While i grow much stronger
Combats the night
when the will to fight
Has left and what remains
Is not quite worth
The sun again
He takes me by the hand
And moves me on
Removes urge
To mourn the moon
He will not endulge
My scream
That wants to escape
He says
And turns his head
But not away
I will not trade fury
And some cold dark place
For the terrible
Loss of his sweet face
So i speak in polite whisper
And exist for a moment
As the reflection
In his eye
He does not mind
He says
To hold me
While i grow much stronger
Written by
calamitygin
(Jennifer Michael McCurry)
Published 19th Jan 2016
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 14
reading list entries 3
comments 30
reads 1187
Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
Re. Hero
19th Jan 2016 3:17pm
Oh wow - this is so touchingly beautiful. Delicate and lovely, another brilliant write.
1
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Re: Re. Hero
19th Jan 2016 4:42pm
Re. Hero
19th Jan 2016 3:20pm
Re: Re. Hero
19th Jan 2016 4:44pm
Why thank you Ahavati...very much.
Wonderful to hear from a poet of your ability...
Love
J
Wonderful to hear from a poet of your ability...
Love
J
Re. Hero
I love the subtly of this piece. You start by using rhyme, the switch to a nice use of consonance in the second stanza. The "m" sound adds to the mood of anger in the opening. In the third stanza you pull the reigns back ever so slightly by refocusing on his actions, instead of yours. Using rhyme again,, and the reflction that pulls us in, you are able to keep the flow at a steady pace. Nice job here, jen.
edit - and let's not forget the title, as it is the first word of the poem: simple, yet powerful
edit - and let's not forget the title, as it is the first word of the poem: simple, yet powerful
1
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Re: Re. Hero
19th Jan 2016 4:46pm
Lol...Ed head...you picked up all nuance.....your lit class is coming out..i love it though. Very cool to read.
Love
J
Love
J
Re. Hero
19th Jan 2016 3:32pm
Very powerful, emotional, and vulnerable poem Calamity so touching and honest.
1
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Re: Re. Hero
19th Jan 2016 4:48pm
Well hunny bunny...just read a piece of yours...about the Xanadian holocaust very strong piece...impressed.
Love
J
Love
J
Re: Re. Hero
19th Jan 2016 5:49pm
**Canadian Residential Schools,
The Holocaust is just a very fitting comparison, but thank you, "Desecration" was a very hard and emotional write for me
The Holocaust is just a very fitting comparison, but thank you, "Desecration" was a very hard and emotional write for me
1
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Re: Re. Hero
19th Jan 2016 6:26pm
It was really good..i went online and read up on it. I had no idea...terrible.
You handled it very well.
You handled it very well.
Re. Hero
19th Jan 2016 4:46pm
So touching Jan it's a wonderful gift to have some one love you unconditionally. :-)
1
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Re: Re. Hero
19th Jan 2016 4:50pm
Yes..it most certainly is. I read one of uours just a minute ago...got a rize outta my feathers! Well done...but intense..
Thanks so doll!
Love n. Squeezin
Jen
Thanks so doll!
Love n. Squeezin
Jen
Re. Hero
19th Jan 2016 5:40pm
You glow with love here my darling. I love the feel here and how it makes me feel. Gorgeous. Passionately gentle and filled with heart. Just the way I love it. ;-)
Love you honey buns,
John
Love you honey buns,
John
1
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Re: Re. Hero
19th Jan 2016 6:24pm
Thank you my sweet beautifull man. You are my hero....the Atlas to my world.
I love everything you are and who i am with you...
Jen
I love everything you are and who i am with you...
Jen
Re. Hero
19th Jan 2016 8:26pm
This is a certified GEM Jen! :)
I gotta start condensing my RL so I can the treasures like these! lol
Excellent thru n thru... :)
I gotta start condensing my RL so I can the treasures like these! lol
Excellent thru n thru... :)
1
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Re: Re. Hero
19th Jan 2016 8:38pm
Re. Hero
19th Jan 2016 8:26pm
This is a certified GEM Jen! :)
I gotta start condensing my RL so I can the treasures like these! lol
Excellent thru n thru... :)
I gotta start condensing my RL so I can the treasures like these! lol
Excellent thru n thru... :)
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Re. Hero
19th Jan 2016 10:39pm
What a soft hearted hero, I suppose softened by the loss of the will to fight. At least he has the narrator of the poem :)
1
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Re: Re. Hero
19th Jan 2016 11:02pm
I lost the will to fight....yes..he is soft hearted and kind. But very strong. Its about supporting and loving someone through their hard times. I am manic deppresive and suffer night terrors..the ease i find with him has allowed me rest and peace of mind.
Thank you very much for the comment and read doll.
Love
J
Thank you very much for the comment and read doll.
Love
J
Re. Hero
Very well written
Worthy praise from those comments above.
He, whomever he might be with his indifferent approach just fits snug within your best interests at heart.
As the old adage goes, when you know you just know, even when quiet moments seem to shroud what is still beautifully loud and clear just for you.
Worthy praise from those comments above.
He, whomever he might be with his indifferent approach just fits snug within your best interests at heart.
As the old adage goes, when you know you just know, even when quiet moments seem to shroud what is still beautifully loud and clear just for you.
1
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Re: Re. Hero
20th Jan 2016 2:49pm
Yes Rose. I am so very lucky to have this man in my life..unconditional love and support is a rare beauty one should hold to tight..
An appreciated and beautifull comment sweetheart..thank you.
Jen
An appreciated and beautifull comment sweetheart..thank you.
Jen
Re. Hero
20th Jan 2016 6:42pm
Re: Re. Hero
20th Jan 2016 6:51pm
Thank you kitten...i am. So.lucky when you have someone in your life this way. It has been rough of late ...my mania nippin my toes...and tryin to raise my hell bitch...he gives me ease.
Love you doll.
Jen
Love you doll.
Jen
Re. Hero
20th Jan 2016 7:33pm
Wow Jen! This really was beautiful and magical. If only to have such a love as that! Absolutely mesmerizing from start to finish.
I loved it, this goes in the reading list for sure.
Lots of love
John
I loved it, this goes in the reading list for sure.
Lots of love
John
1
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Re: Re. Hero
20th Jan 2016 8:39pm
Re. Hero
20th Jan 2016 9:57pm
Yes - this ambivalence, the paradox of the beauty In the beast
Polite control in the face of fury in order to hold him longer
Sophisticated write
Polite control in the face of fury in order to hold him longer
Sophisticated write
1
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Re: Re. Hero
21st Jan 2016 9:01am
Thank you doll.
Yes...i would say ambivilance liies within my own dual personality. My gentle side is a natural with him.
He makes me feel safe.
Very interesting, thoughtful comment
It is very much appreciated.
Love
J
Yes...i would say ambivilance liies within my own dual personality. My gentle side is a natural with him.
He makes me feel safe.
Very interesting, thoughtful comment
It is very much appreciated.
Love
J
Re. Hero
21st Jan 2016 3:24pm
"So i speak in polite whisper
And exist for a moment
As the reflection
In his eye"...
Jennifer, an absolute beaut of a poem...a beautiful display of craftsmanship of knitting in words of complex and strong emotions.. hats off lady!!
Cheers
KDAmB
And exist for a moment
As the reflection
In his eye"...
Jennifer, an absolute beaut of a poem...a beautiful display of craftsmanship of knitting in words of complex and strong emotions.. hats off lady!!
Cheers
KDAmB
1
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Re: Re. Hero
21st Jan 2016 5:30pm
Wow! Thanks...im overwhelmed by the response to this piece. It is a very heart felt poem.
Love
J
Love
J
Re. Hero
23rd Jan 2016 8:55pm
Well just nail me to a cross of
love my honey, you've touched
my little soft spots inside.
My gods, any more of these
exist? lol no no j/k .. .
But this is some-ting wonderfully
felt, damn. Am feeling a
little warm and envious :)
-Howlings
love my honey, you've touched
my little soft spots inside.
My gods, any more of these
exist? lol no no j/k .. .
But this is some-ting wonderfully
felt, damn. Am feeling a
little warm and envious :)
-Howlings
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