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The Sharpness of My Pain
- The Sharpness of My Pain -
Such anger do those who betray me fill me with, anew,
As of old, when I did rebel against the tyranny celestial!
I cannot relay the sharpness of it, nor its’ fire hot, true…
For words cannot describe Hell in ways physically real.
The love they cherish shall fade, their arrogance ended,
For they sought to hurt me for their sense of self worth!
My heart, shall yet be healed, my old scars all mended.
As those who made me suffer shall rue their very birth!
So many were the hands against me, so few in comfort.
I marvel that I did not to their own hatred, ever resort!
All I coveted is love, and yet the gods would deny this,
Whilst blessing those accursed, and allowing them bliss.
I had my time in the wilderness, tempted to embrace…
The darkness of this world, with its’ bright smiling face.
Yet I never hurt another; I let them fall by their device!
For evil turns upon itself the warmth of its’ heart as ice.
I long for such love, and yet am treated with such hate,
By those who dare to call themselves human by nature!
People who destroy others and cannot any art create…
Because their narrowest minds have yet to truly mature.
The smugness with which those who have what I desire,
Look down upon me, makes me filled with such wrath!
Love is wasted on them, because they are full with ire…
Their every deed is blight, and wicked their every craft.
A brother I once watched grow up to become a man…
He laughed whilst I wept, proving his loyalty all a sham.
I shall call him brother no more, for he is selfish, vain…
So ignorant of what is right, unwilling to hear of my pain.
A mother I once loved told me I deserved not any pity,
But where is she now, in some Heaven distantly pretty?
Relatives I grew up with, now grow from me far apart,
All because I told them I am a woman within my heart.
Why must such as they, know the tender arms of love,
As I suffer, from the slings and arrows, of their cruelty!
I must despise them eternal, before all the skies above,
For they have made themselves manifest as truly guilty.
False were they in their flattery, and cocky in manner…
But I shall yet be loved and they shall be truly damned.
The love I will know shall tatter their victorious banner,
As they fall to time, whilst I shall before Heaven stand!
The best revenge is living well, and so I am resolved…
To find the love I hunger for; I need not to be absolved.
Being myself is not a sin, and if I am a maiden and man,
Then who are they to judge me, and my soul condemn!
My mother passed on long ago, my brother is distant…
And my relatives will not speak to me in tones pleasant.
But I need not their blessing to find the love that I seek,
And I shall survive past hurts, because I am not weak!
Such anger do those who betray me fill me with, anew,
As of old, when I did rebel against the tyranny celestial!
I cannot relay the sharpness of it, nor its’ fire hot, true…
For words cannot describe Hell in ways physically real.
The love they cherish shall fade, their arrogance ended,
For they sought to hurt me for their sense of self worth!
My heart, shall yet be healed, my old scars all mended.
As those who made me suffer shall rue their very birth!
So many were the hands against me, so few in comfort.
I marvel that I did not to their own hatred, ever resort!
All I coveted is love, and yet the gods would deny this,
Whilst blessing those accursed, and allowing them bliss.
I had my time in the wilderness, tempted to embrace…
The darkness of this world, with its’ bright smiling face.
Yet I never hurt another; I let them fall by their device!
For evil turns upon itself the warmth of its’ heart as ice.
I long for such love, and yet am treated with such hate,
By those who dare to call themselves human by nature!
People who destroy others and cannot any art create…
Because their narrowest minds have yet to truly mature.
The smugness with which those who have what I desire,
Look down upon me, makes me filled with such wrath!
Love is wasted on them, because they are full with ire…
Their every deed is blight, and wicked their every craft.
A brother I once watched grow up to become a man…
He laughed whilst I wept, proving his loyalty all a sham.
I shall call him brother no more, for he is selfish, vain…
So ignorant of what is right, unwilling to hear of my pain.
A mother I once loved told me I deserved not any pity,
But where is she now, in some Heaven distantly pretty?
Relatives I grew up with, now grow from me far apart,
All because I told them I am a woman within my heart.
Why must such as they, know the tender arms of love,
As I suffer, from the slings and arrows, of their cruelty!
I must despise them eternal, before all the skies above,
For they have made themselves manifest as truly guilty.
False were they in their flattery, and cocky in manner…
But I shall yet be loved and they shall be truly damned.
The love I will know shall tatter their victorious banner,
As they fall to time, whilst I shall before Heaven stand!
The best revenge is living well, and so I am resolved…
To find the love I hunger for; I need not to be absolved.
Being myself is not a sin, and if I am a maiden and man,
Then who are they to judge me, and my soul condemn!
My mother passed on long ago, my brother is distant…
And my relatives will not speak to me in tones pleasant.
But I need not their blessing to find the love that I seek,
And I shall survive past hurts, because I am not weak!
Published 15th Jan 2016
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16th Jan 2016 00:46am
A poem that can only be written by a mind such as yours dear Kara. I hope you are alright. Do write soon. Hugs
Oh I am well indeed, sweet Grace! Fear not, this was actually one of my older poems that I never had the chance to upload until now. I penned it during a far darker time than these recent days... but so dark was that time that I had forgotten all about posting this poem properly until like this past week or so as I as going through my files and folders containing my collected works. Thanks for asking and worrying about me though! You're truly a dear. *Hugs* :)
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