A New Year Past

loved the buzz
abstinence for too long
alone as always
except this time
there was a cheap red
near my bed

feeling the room spin
closing my eyes
letting go
feeling the whirlwind

'she has a new dress?'
'yes she has isn't that good?'
'my dress is from last year'
'mine too. Mother said
we didn't do well'
'yes rubber price is down'

I stared in horror
at my best friend's face
ten years old
with a scar on her cheek
she looked back puzzled
'what's wrong with you?'

standing up looking around
saw the old church on the grassy field
my siblings all toddlers and babies
clinging on my mother's black skirt
she was young and beautiful with bunned hair
a few friends rushed by holding catechisms

my best friend ran with them
the bell was ringing
bong-bong-bong
my mother was entering the church
I ran towards her
didn't see the flower pot
fell on my face

getting up, I looked at spilled wine
on the floor
falling out of bed was not bad
I just get back on again
sleeping the eve to the new year

I just wished I stayed in that reality
decades past
and rewrite my little book
of life.