The Refugee (Dragon Age 2: part 2)

VARRIC: It has to rhyme.

HAWKE: Varric, I swear you've made the practice of "overcomplication" a pastime.

VARRIC: Oh come now don't be such a nug about it, it'll be fun.

HAWKE: Easy for you to say, you're a renowned literary craftsman.

VARRIC: While what you said is true trust me, it isn't that hard, just follow my lead.
Just stick with me Hawke and you'll be spinning your own epics before you even finish your mead.

HAWKE: Ok first of all, it's wine. Can't you tell by the way I hardly drink it and just spin it around in its fancy glass?
Ugh this hardly seems fair, I was born in Lothering, educated by my parents so I have an excuse if I come across as boorish or crass.

VARRIC: Hawke my dear I promise neither to censor your words nor limit your imagination.
Though I would rather you take a five minute puse trying to find a rhyme than break the flow by swearing your tongue off in frustration.

HAWKE: Ok ok ok I think I'm ready.
I'll just use short sentences to keep the pace...short and steady.
But don't expect me to use...any articulate cadences.
I'd rather the story not lose its charm or its...fragrance?

VARRIC: Hahaha see Hawke you're a natural!
All you gotta do is keep your mind focused and your tongue loose, and don't try to speak fancy, it'll just end up sounding abnormal.
Who knows, under my tutelage you may even become as good as me someday!

HAWKE: i do seem to be grasping it rather quickly I...DARESAY!

VARRIC: Alright alright hotshot before the fame goes to your head why don't you start your story from the beginning.

HAWKE: The beginning huh? Well, the first thing I remember was when Carver was just born me, being the little troublemaker that I am knocked him out of his crib, hahahah you should've heard him crying...

VARRIC: *sighhh* With a heavy sigh Varric wearily places his head in his hands, dreading what's to come with Hawke's story-telling.
No no Hawke, not the beginning beginning, just start where you and your family escaped Lothering.

HAWKE: But...but...I didn't even tell you the time that I turned Bethany's cat into a frog.

VARRIC: Another time Hawke. But right now I'm more interested in how you got this far, not when you sacrificed your first dog.

HAWKE: I never sacrificed a dog!...Although there was this one time...

VARRIC: Atutututut I don't know what's more disturbing Hawke, your animal sacrifice allegations, or the fact that you prattle on more than a Shaper tour guide.

HAWKE: Sorry sorry, you want to know about Lothering right? About my family and I running for our lives?

VARRIC: Varric leans back into his seat, crossing his arms in a gesture he hopes will suffice as a silent indication that it's what he's wanted this whole time.

HAWKE: Great, nobody wants to hear about my juvenile escapes, only when I was carried across the sea by a dragon, or how I snuck into the city through an elaborate net of organized crimes.

VARRIC: What the...

HAWKE: Now now Varric no interrupting, it's been my designated time to talk by referendum.