deepundergroundpoetry.com
Down
Your heart is cold,
But mine is no warmer,
You smile,
I smile,
But your eyes remain somber,
Your exspressions say nothing,
Your lips speak no truth,
Your body is still,
You are so aloof,
Disconnected from me,
And from the world around,
No sight,
No love,
No taste,
No sound,
Only the feeling of the earth,
When you finally come down,
Down,
Down,
Down,
Tumbling and sprawling,
Not up,
But down,
Your head so confusing,
Your heart just pounds,
Acting,
And reacting,
Around,
And around,
Your circle of relapse,
Relapse and recover,
One day you'll hit the ground..
But mine is no warmer,
You smile,
I smile,
But your eyes remain somber,
Your exspressions say nothing,
Your lips speak no truth,
Your body is still,
You are so aloof,
Disconnected from me,
And from the world around,
No sight,
No love,
No taste,
No sound,
Only the feeling of the earth,
When you finally come down,
Down,
Down,
Down,
Tumbling and sprawling,
Not up,
But down,
Your head so confusing,
Your heart just pounds,
Acting,
And reacting,
Around,
And around,
Your circle of relapse,
Relapse and recover,
One day you'll hit the ground..
Published 22nd Jun 2011
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 4
reading list entries 0
comments 6
reads 1105
Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
22nd Jun 2011 2:24pm
22nd Jun 2011 9:16pm
Omg.
I love this.
I was just totally captivated when I read this.
So beautiful.
Amazing!
I love this.
I was just totally captivated when I read this.
So beautiful.
Amazing!
23rd Jun 2011 00:00am
23rd Jun 2011 6:00am
I am always inside ur writing in the sense tht I feel what you are saying.
Anonymous
29th Jun 2011 6:23am
I notice you like rhyming schemes. I suggest moving beyond the rhyme when you think you're ready.
This is good, enjoyable. Almost seems like a song. In fact, many of your pieces do, in my opinion. That's pretty cool. Now, just add some music to them and you may go platinum one day.
Lastly, this poem doesn't need an extreme content filter on it. ^_^
This is good, enjoyable. Almost seems like a song. In fact, many of your pieces do, in my opinion. That's pretty cool. Now, just add some music to them and you may go platinum one day.
Lastly, this poem doesn't need an extreme content filter on it. ^_^
29th Jun 2011 6:32am
Yea I know it doesn't.. the mouse for my computer is slow so.. I tend to click the wrong things.. And I do enjoy rhyming most of the time.. it just comes to me that way.. React actually is the closest one to being a song and or rap. My friend Alex but a beat to it one time and sent it to me.. sounded pretty good..
