Shape shifting

 
My inner self is having an intimate affair with loathing tonight.
While misery loves company, sometimes it's better left alone.

To fade into the abstract

Away from the cares of the world.
Or lack thereof, rather.

But... I'd rather not

Sometimes, "I'm okay" is the biggest lie I tell myself.
After a while.... I start to believe it.

Until longing sets in again.

The drought in my heart leaves a sand paper film
over my tongue.

Leaving me at a loss for words.

Stranded at a street corner not sure which direction to choose..

Because this city is as unfamiliar as the skin I wear.
And, I don't know who to ask...

for directions

Changing my shape gets tiring after a while..

I look to the solitary star in the sky
That stands out from beyond the clouds..

While I pray for rain...

A downpour from eyes to release me from all this..

Nothing inside

Seeking clarity, and understanding.

Something to cling to.

Changing shapes again

Chasing the dreams that evade me..

Listening to whispers from shadows
memorizing affirmations of the damned

"You're okay". They tell me...

I smile, knowing it's a lie.