deepundergroundpoetry.com
A Cold Feelin
And in my silent decent
I repent
I never saw your heart
From the start
I took your word as stolen
Not the spoken
Emotion
Of a woman broken
Just a whore who wanted more dope
Never thought there mighta been hope
That in your soul was a child
Whose mind ran wild
But was a child all the same
You were in such pain
And i tossed you aside
Like some glass dick dope ride
You were a human being
I was blind
Was not seeing
I could have helped you
Not turned my back when life delt you
Its biggest hand of bad cards
You slit your wrists to shards
And you bled cherry red
You died
You are dead
And i wake in cold sweats
Of regret
I never wiped your tears
Only alienated you
Made a mockery of your fears
You came to me crying
I said "Go way whore, you lying!"
The next day..pooof gone
Fuck i feel so wrong
Feeling as if i held the knife
That took away your inner childs
Laughing life
Its time to Rhyme a Rhythm to da beat comp entry
I repent
I never saw your heart
From the start
I took your word as stolen
Not the spoken
Emotion
Of a woman broken
Just a whore who wanted more dope
Never thought there mighta been hope
That in your soul was a child
Whose mind ran wild
But was a child all the same
You were in such pain
And i tossed you aside
Like some glass dick dope ride
You were a human being
I was blind
Was not seeing
I could have helped you
Not turned my back when life delt you
Its biggest hand of bad cards
You slit your wrists to shards
And you bled cherry red
You died
You are dead
And i wake in cold sweats
Of regret
I never wiped your tears
Only alienated you
Made a mockery of your fears
You came to me crying
I said "Go way whore, you lying!"
The next day..pooof gone
Fuck i feel so wrong
Feeling as if i held the knife
That took away your inner childs
Laughing life
Its time to Rhyme a Rhythm to da beat comp entry
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likes 9
reading list entries 2
comments 22
reads 1351
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The author encourages honest critique.
Re. A Cold Feelin
7th Dec 2015 4:01pm
Re: Re. A Cold Feelin
7th Dec 2015 4:50pm
Re. A Cold Feelin
7th Dec 2015 4:24pm
Oh wow what a sad ending...sometimes you really don't realize a cry for help...in this day and age you're skeptical to be vulnerable to persons cause too often its a manipulative game...great imagery ...love tale if a tragedy
2
Re: Re. A Cold Feelin
7th Dec 2015 4:31pm
Awesome comment Miss....thankd. Did you see the posted results of the dream lover Comp? You werent 123...but you arr mentioned. Check it!
Luv
Jen
Luv
Jen
Re. A Cold Feelin
Anonymous
7th Dec 2015 4:34pm
A Lot of us try to hide a lot more of our demons than we let on. I recently told my son this,
If you had known this was going to be the outcome would you have done anything to change it?
If the answer is yes, then you must not have known?
This is a very vulnerable piece thank you for sharing.
If you had known this was going to be the outcome would you have done anything to change it?
If the answer is yes, then you must not have known?
This is a very vulnerable piece thank you for sharing.
0
Re: Re. A Cold Feelin
7th Dec 2015 4:46pm
Thanks Slow!! You have no idea how much that mrans to me. Good daddy!
Love
J🚬💋
Love
J🚬💋
Re. A Cold Feelin
7th Dec 2015 5:07pm
i had to let this one settle a bit, ginnykins, rhyme scheme & i don't snuggle so i get bit cranky reading it :)
my [personal] aversion to it aside... you've written a killer poem, doll face, brutally honest, so emotive
brava & best of luck in the comp
xo
my [personal] aversion to it aside... you've written a killer poem, doll face, brutally honest, so emotive
brava & best of luck in the comp
xo
1
Re: Re. A Cold Feelin
7th Dec 2015 5:47pm
Lol no probs...whats not ones taste is not ones taste...thanks though. 💋
Its the comp...a rap rhyme comp
Love ya true doll face!
Jen
Its the comp...a rap rhyme comp
Love ya true doll face!
Jen
Re. A Cold Feelin
7th Dec 2015 9:31pm
It's the kind of tragedy that's almost impossible to see coming. There's no point in blaming oneself. Excellent work Jen. You''ve taken a distressing story and given it the style of the comp. Better "a cold feelin" than not caring!
0
Re. A Cold Feelin
7th Dec 2015 11:45pm
I'm sorry to see you feeling so guilty Jen, it's a sad story with a sad ending and I hope you get over those feeling quickly. In the end there are some who may want to talk but can't be saved. It just shows how human you are that you feel so badly, and brave as well to bare your soul. I hope you do well in the comp, you deserve some recognition for this piece.
A big hug for you goes here,
John
A big hug for you goes here,
John
1
Re: Re. A Cold Feelin
8th Dec 2015 11:29am
Thank you John
..sorry..didnt see you till now.
Means a lot what you said#
Love aleays
Jen
..sorry..didnt see you till now.
Means a lot what you said#
Love aleays
Jen
Re. A Cold Feelin
8th Dec 2015 11:21am
Tragic n deeply sad. I'm well aware of the guilty feeling, I've been there
n STILL haven't felt relief from it yet. Strong, pain filled ink.
n STILL haven't felt relief from it yet. Strong, pain filled ink.
1
Re: Re. A Cold Feelin
8th Dec 2015 11:25am
Awe, thanks sweetheart...have you checked put lyricalmiss? You would like her i think.
Much love
Jennifer
Much love
Jennifer
Re: Re. A Cold Feelin
8th Dec 2015 12:46pm
Re. A Cold Feelin
10th Dec 2015 2:58pm
Wow. I almost have no words in response. Such raw emotion. I'm so sorry that you've had to go through this... It's really great that you're getting it written down though, and written so well!
1
Re: Re. A Cold Feelin
10th Dec 2015 4:00pm
Well thank you sweetheart. And honored by your RL spot.
Nice to meet you! If you are a new member, Welcome! If you are just new to me, thanks will be readin you soon!
Much love
Jen
Nice to meet you! If you are a new member, Welcome! If you are just new to me, thanks will be readin you soon!
Much love
Jen
Re. A Cold Feelin
10th Dec 2015 5:45pm
A traumatic story..more than I could handle.. penned with brutal human honesty... admirable write Jennifer... shook me to the core...
1
Re: Re. A Cold Feelin
10th Dec 2015 6:22pm
Tjank ypu KD...yeah...a tough one. Have been an active addict. In recovery.
But she had came for help so many times and it was always manipululation.
Broke my heart.
Love
Jen
But she had came for help so many times and it was always manipululation.
Broke my heart.
Love
Jen
Re. A Cold Feelin
12th Dec 2015 7:37pm
Deeply felt dark poem or regret. I can't imagine a regret deeper than this. The pain here is powerful. Your gift with poetry makes this a beautifully sorrowful poem. Truly heartfelt my darling one.
Love you so much,
John
Love you so much,
John
1
Re: Re. A Cold Feelin
12th Dec 2015 7:57pm
Thank you hunny bunn...was a difficult thing...but you learn. Its hard when a zebra shows stripes a hundred times..the one time its life of death..all you see are stripes.
Love and adore you
JENNIFER
Love and adore you
JENNIFER
Re. A Cold Feelin
18th Dec 2015 3:53pm
I am so speechless and so with every
word of the guy just right above me.
Powerfully written.
Love you darling, muwah
-Howlings
word of the guy just right above me.
Powerfully written.
Love you darling, muwah
-Howlings
1
Re: Re. A Cold Feelin
18th Dec 2015 4:35pm